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I have just discovered my fella is looking at porn on the puter,i must say i dont really blame him as our sex life is pants since i had the baby,do u guys think i should just ignore the fact that i know,or should i approach him about it???

I would find a nice quiet moment and mention that you found out what he has been doing. This should be approached in a nice friendly way and not confrontational. Ask him what he finds stimulating and see whether that is something that you would be prepared to imitate for him. Maybe he has fantasies or desires which are not being fulfilled for one reason or another. If your relationship is sound, it's unlikely he would become defensive. Talk openly and lovingly. An internet female is no substitute for a real woman's love.

Well i dont think theres out wrong with watching porn,its probley because he aint gettin sex?,oh he just enjoys it,but atleast its only porn,least he aint goin out shagging?

Ali,
I wouldn't worry about it. Have you tried reading them yourself? They can be quite a turn on and you might find you like them. Maybe they could help rekindle your sex life with your hubby. If they're a turn off for you, though, don't try to pretend.

But I'd leave him to it. I don't think it makes any difference to the way he feels about your sex life. I think people who like to look at porn, do so even if their sex lives are at a peak.

It's normal for sex to dwindle after having a baby. Don't stress over it. It'll get back to normal.

xx

saving grace your so right in wot u say

hi! ali

My bf does too not so much these days i did'nt know he was looking at porn untill one late night i awoke and walked into the front room only to see him doing what most men do when they look/watch porn after that i never really spoke about it to him but he always said because "i will not do what they do".

I lost my virginity to him and is my first real relationship we have been together nearly 8yrs and have a dughter off 3 i blame the way i am about sex on my parents really as i was never told about it just found out things as i went along as a child and found out i am very much like my mum, somehow oral,porn even touching him in that area was horrible and disgusting even though i knew most people did it.[xx(]

I never really liked sex i felt like i was doing it for him and that was the reason why he was really looking at porn, now nearly 8 yrs on in the relationship i have grown to relax and enjoy the closeness of "lovemaking"[:I] and he is very happy and says he does not really have to look at it much anymore, so when i think he his i just try to think of something else and go to sleep.

Ali do you yourself have a problem with him looking at porn and do you yourself not like to watch it as my bf has tried to get me to watch but i dont really like it as it all seems so fake to me well some of it so i have watched afew but they did'nt really do much for me.

Why don't you ask him playfully about it but make sure you don't get into a row as thats not good really, maybe ask him what he likes about it and what you two could do about your sexual activity when you feel ready.[]

Please don't stress over this as most men and women look at porn,and sex after a baby is most likly to dwindle but things will get better.

chin up
kerryxxx[]