Discovery Home & Health

Hi

I am visiting different websites directing Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse to my blog site where I describe my own upbringing, my abuse and its after effects. It took me a long time to disclose what happened to me during the early seventies. It took nearly thirty five years and me gainning sobriety to tell the whole story to my wife. I'm forty eight now.

I'm sharing my story to show that it is possible to recover from CSA no matter "how bad" you are. I have spent nearly five years in different psychiatric units and treatment centres for my addictions and I had buried my abuse so well that I didn't even refer to it whilst an inpatient. I admited to having relationships with men but never mentioned my age. I was fourteen when I was originally assaulted, and boy did that screw me up.

If you know of any male that needs support please pass on my url as there are links for direct support via
Malesurvivor.org which can be found at
http://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com

Still you can visit my bog site for the whole (TRIGGERING) story it can be read at:

http://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com

Please do not read unless you feel well and truly grounded.

Comments and suggestions welcome.

Stay safe

Dan

dandare...

Thank you.

Ive been reading everything with great interest, I am an Adult Survivor... how I cope - I dont know... but I dont feel guilty anymore.. what am I saying - thats a lie.... Im going to buy a couple of the books sold on the site - to read, and hopefully I will heal.....

Reenie Luvvie xx

Reenie and Dan, I'm a survivor too. Although what happened to me is very very mild in comparison to others, but it happened none the less.

rebsee *HUGE HUGS* No matter how mild/severe the abuse - its still abuse... How are you coping?

I have some wonderful news for both you and dan... the man who abused me was over last night - the reasons why are too long to go into right now... anyways, we (my mum, he and I) sat down and he formally apologised for what had happened.... he has no excuses - he was an animal - what happened was abominable... so very wrong..... he's been feeling very guilty about it... carrying the guilt inside..... he's getting on and its the only thing that he regrets... doing what he did.... I told him that I forgive him - in some ways, if it didnt happen I wouldnt be me..... I DO forgive him, he's changed... and we should all have another chance... he's a sad, lonely man... not much life left in him.. I just hope he can move on - he's got a daughter now... I guess having her and knowing someone oculd do what he did me to, to her brought it all home.... I've healed, I thought if we talked about it in the open it will help me heal .. so today, I feel fantastic........ *HUGE SMILZ* I truely feel like a heavy burden has left me......

Better go now - lunch time!

Off to drink my LL foodpack - chocolate!!!

Reenie Luvvie
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Reenie, I'm so pleased for you ) *HUG*
It's great when one of those weights lifts, I had a massive one on Thursday at counselling (Not LL, other 1-2-1 counselling.) - don't it make you feel enlightened??

B x x x

REBSEE...

YES it does, Ive been feeling on top of the world today.... I told a friend from LL who'd suffered a similar experience - she's very happy for me.... I used to feel worthless and guilty for him getting to my lil sis, but now.... as he's apologised I dont feel guilty myself anymore.. cause there was nothing I could do about it... I was not in control.. a revelation which I had earlier is that HE brought me down into deep sadness, self-loathe, feeling worthless, not knowing my life was sooo important, and now... after the apology.... he's given me all of my life back - I dont hate myself, I AM worthy and worth it all.... Im happy to be alive.... its amazing how much a person can change my life in the blink of an eye.....

He even apologised to my family.. it takes alot of guts to do that - I just hope he can see how much of a recovery I make - now that I have closed this chapter in my life - sure it'll always be with me, but I got the answers I desperatly needed to have.....

*SMILZ*

reebee - you take care me-luvvie, thinking as always fondly of ya, and dan!

Love

Reenie Luvvie xxxx

Reenie, I don't know you but I always felt intuitively that you're such a special and wonderful human being...being able to forgive and to free yourself from the weight of the past (no pun itended but it makes so much sense)is such a wonderful gift that you're giving yourself- I wish you strength and light in your journey though I know that you don't really need it, you're well on your way!!!
with love and best wishes...

Serendipity8...

*HUGE HUGS* we've not always seen eye to eye in the past but Im grateful for your support....... I must say, I thank GOD for giving me sooo many blessings, having such a wonderful family, a gorgeous OH and fantastic new friends through LL..... Ive always been someone to forgive and be nice to others - why? Simply cause I have faith in us humans - that oneday were Im in need - Id hope someone would be there to help me.... I know he is genuinely sorry and regrets what went on all those years ago.. I understand that sure I can persecute him - but each day he's alive - he's doing far worse to himself in his mind..... he doesnt need me to add to it.... I dont like seeing suffering, so I won't add to his...... besides HE'S set me free..... HE's given me peace within myself..... Im joyous for being given such a chance - so many aren't.... and don't get answers to those Qs which I had.....

Now that Ive got my life back - Im going to fulfil ALL my dreams - Im going to LIVE.. not just exist....

Serendipity8 - I wish YOU all the best in your quest called LIFE... I pray for your safe-keeping, you will always be in my thoughts and prayers and heart....

Reenie Luvvie
xxxx

She who is loving LIFE!

I'm not a male (I'm female LOL), but I'm certainly a child abuse survivor!!
I was abused between the ages of 13 and 18, my abuser was my father, whos now doing time for what hes done!!

I understand what you mean about the past making us who we are!!

I have two beautiful children and i'm currently using the internet as my tool to fight against all kinds of abuse, Its a small but currently growing site with about 50 members and covers a wide range of subjects, including telling my story!

Knowing that i can reach out and help others as people have helped me, just seems to make the past far less pain full to deal with
All my love
Emma
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