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Originally posted by randomUK1
[br]You guys must be joking, ive got the same fear. The earliest i can remember having it is at the age of 3 or 4, i also have an irrational fear/disgust/hatred (whatever you want to call it) of poppers. I have an awful time at work and did at school aswell. I to find that i can only wear a shirt with some comfort with a tie, and that dosent help much. However, i have the biggest fetish for polo shirts. Its an awkward sexual desire, given my hatred of all things button related. (i feel physically sick if i see a button on the floor, i cannot touch them and feel sick in their vacinity.) yet for some reason i am not repulsed by polo shirts, despite having a hatred of buttons that i cannot adequateley put into words. I believe this may be a similar thing to the fish eye button guy who posted earlier. I would be very interested to hear from anyone else with a similar problem/situation (whatever you might call it)and hear of their experiences. Is there anyone out there who has overcome, or adapted beyond this?!

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In response to Randomuk1, I think there may be a link between things that we feel strongly about. For example, if we invest a relatively large amount of time and energy in being appalled by something, in this case buttons, then our psyche (or whatever we may call it)may try and introduce some kind of balance by introducing the fetish aspect. In my case I find that buttons are ugly, often small and fiddly. In the case of fish eye buttons I find that they are aesthetically amazing. Like the most perfect of, say, diamonds. I cannot fault the design of them and the way they react to light is like nothing on earth. I also wonder if, in your case, the other associations with polo shirts are strong and over ride the problem to some degree. Maybe the maleness (I don't know your sexual orientation here so I may be off the mark) is a factor in the attraction to the polo shirts. I have found myself lessening the impact of the phobia when I am enamoured by the person wearing the offending items. Maybe this is the case. I really feel that there is a link of some sort between that which we find appealing and that which we find unappealing. If I am right then this attraction/repultion may be more common than we think.

well, im studying Neuroscience at the moment and in my spare time i have looked greatly into what may be causing this love-hate relationship, sadly the field of neuroscience is a relatiley new one but does offer some explanations. Firstly, you are almost certainly correct in saying that they are linked. And this is (i believe) why...

Firstly we must analyze where our cases are similar....

1.) We both developed these feelings at around the same time, and both the hatred and love came around the same time
2.) We both invest rediculous amounts of time and energy into an otherwise pointless endevaour. (hence why it is a fetish, as with all fetish's it is borderline on an obsession)
3.)The love over-rides the hate/phobia

This has lead me to the conclusion that what has happened, is in our infancy our brain neurones have arranged themselves in such a manner that buttons trigger a sensory reaction. Which our mind assosiates with disgust (i do not feel this is a phobia or hatred, as i am not afraid of buttons, they simply disgust me.) However, for some reason perhaps as you suggest creativelancs, in an attempt to over ride or compensate, the sexual centre of our brain has associated this with a fetish. However, this has unusal effects such as the attraction v's disgust.

I would like to investigate this further, if you know anyone else who shares this it would be great if they could fill one of these out, it is a fact sheet. If you dont want to post it here you may email me, (can_i_live_in_your_pocket@hotmail.com - its just a fowarding address and i will contact you with my actual email)

It can be anonymous if you want, i would especially like to see yours creative as our cases are eearily similar. I can use this information to discern similarities and differences and hopefully deduct the cause.

1.) What is the desire -
2.) What is the hatred -
3.) Age at which the desire became apparent -
4.) Sexual Orientation -
5.) Earliest memory of the fetish or 'phobia'-
6.) Do you have any siblings(im investigating this as i believe despite all odds an absence of siblings may be a cause)
7.) How long have you had this connection
8.) Has the connection evolved since you first remember it and in what way?

I was so relieved to hear of other individuals with button phobia. My four year old son had experienced this, since he was two years old. I gave birth to his younger sister at that time and our first solo experience together was shopping for shirts with buttons. I explained to him that, since mommy was breastfeeding, she needed new shirts with buttons. My husband and I thought that it was cute that he expressed his resentment for his younger sibling by grabbing my shirt and saying "no buttons, no buttons." Two years later, we are buying elastic pants and t-shirts. He says that buttons smell funny. We have even tried putting lavender oil on them, but he says they make him sick. If we are wearing buttons, we have to have a pillow barrier, before he will touch us. We have taken him to a therapist who informed us that he is very intelligent and has "unique" ideas. We have been able to ease him into elastic pants with solid, metal buttons on the front, because he calls them medallions. Is there anything that we can do to keep this from getting worse? It is interfering with his ability to get close to loved ones (due to the need for a button barrier)?

I too am comforted that others feel the same way as me.

I have learnt to live with this challenge, some buttons I can handle (I even have some on my duvet cover) but men's shirt buttons and pjyama buttons really gross me out. Ok, if John Travolta wanted me to strip off his shirt I could, but I'd rather he was in a t-shirt.

I used to gag whenever I saw my mum's button jar and yep a button on the floor would taunt me until someone else picked it up. Unlike most of you people though, I've kinda kept this thing to myself, choosing to wear button free clothes.

I wonder what it is that causes such a strange little phobia?

Phobia/Aversion and Fixation/Fetish

Like creativelancs, I also don't like small buttons; however, I also like larger 22mm fish-eye buttons and I also like a similar larger sized two-hole button, that doesn't have the triangular thread channel. They have always held an incredible fascination for me, as long as I can remember. Since childhood, I have associated both types of buttons with being tickled. As I grew older, such buttons represented sexual attraction and tickling. I often change buttons on shirts, cargo pants, denim jean jackets, corduroy jean jackets, safari shirts/jackets, etc to fish-eye buttons for my own pleasure. I often put on such "fetish" clothes and look at myself in the mirror, I imagining being tickled to helpless distraction. Sometimes I wear them in public.
When I see a women wearing clothes with such fish-eye buttons, I immediately feel a "rush" and have fantasies of being tickled that night.
Such fish-eye buttons remind me of happy/grinning faces in the way they react to light!
I have told a few people about my predilection for such big grinning buttons and tickling. A few months ago a married friend showed up to pick up any remaining mail. When she buzzed, I was wearing a beige corduroy western shirt with big "grinning" buttons. I grinned to myself, but didn't change. I met her in the lobby, and gave her her mail. She thanked me, grinning. Then she started tickling my ribs, I squealed and laughed, in helpless delight. She followed my twisting and turning ribs, as my laughter weakened legs carried me down to the carpet. I wanted the tickling to stop and yet simultaneously to continue. While I was on the carpet, she continued poking and prodding my ribs for a few more minutes, which quickly had me hooting in helpless uncontrollable laughter. My mouth was stretched in the horrible rictus of intense red faced laughter, as I laughed on in an agony of hysterical pleasure. Then she got off me and said, "Catch you later!"
"Hope so!" I replied grinning. She gave me a few more well deserved rib tickles.

When I was very young I was abused by excessive tickling by a friend of my mother. I don't know if this women was wearing small buttons or not. My grandfather used to wear such fish-eye buttons, and we had a "tickling game"; I would sit in his lap, and when I touched any of his buttons, he could/would tickle me. I could moderate the tickling by removing my fingertips from his grinning buttons. He was also in the army, where army shirts have bigger buttons -- so maybe he also had a small button aversion.
In the early seventies, I was in heaven. More than a few women were wearing corduroy jumpsuits with big buttons down the front and also on the pockets. Shirt waist dresses were also fairly popular, with big buttons down the front and also on the pockets.
Today, I have seen a few women in safari jackets with such pleasant big buttons, down the front and on all the pockets.

I was very suprised and amazed to read the words of KC56. This is amazing. I knew that my fetish for one type of button was rare indeed and to hear of another person whose attention is directed to exactly the same item and design has blown me away. If you would like to discuss this further KC56 please feel free to email me at pedrodave@btinternet.com and maybe we can share many of the feelings which we have in common and, hopefully learn a little more about ourselves and each other. I would be willing to send photos of many of my fish eye buttoned clothes for you to explore and maybe you could do the same. Hope to hear from you soon. P.S this forum has certainly suprised me in its affectiveness. Keep up the good work folks!

I also have a button phobia/fetish. I'm a heterosexual male who thinks that buttons are only for women. Whenever I have to wear buttons I feel like my masculinity is severely compromised as if I'm cross-dressed. However, I go absolutely wild at the sight of women wearing clothes that button up the back- skirts, dresses, blouses and buttoned back pockets, but mostly skirts. To see a woman walking in a skirt that buttons all the way up the back is so incredibly sexy that I can hardly believe it could be real. I know this is totally weird. I do know of one group discussing the phobia aspect of buttons.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/b_phobia/

I was so relieved when I read about all the others out there with the same problem I have. I really believed I was the only one. I have always hated buttons as far back as I can remember. I feel they are disgusting, dirty, smelly and vile. I can't stand to touch them, when I have no choice I immediately have to go and wash my hands. I don't want them touching me or my things. I have always felt this way but have managed to keep it to myself all my life until recently. I finally had to break down and admit why it was that a lot of clothing type birthday and Christmas gifts hang in the closet unworn. I don't even want a single button on any of my shirts (like a snap up shirt but with a collar button) it has to come off. Buttons on pants like jeans don't bother me, it's the plastic ones. I don't care what size or color they are disgusting. I don't really mind them on other people as long as they don't touch me. I don't like people with buttons trying to hug me or touch my belongings. Those that know of my "phobia" laugh at me, but it is a serious issue to me. I too wonder if anyone knows it it has a name. At least now I know I'm not alone.

Hey everyone,

I agree with you about the relief of knowing I am not alone in the world on this one! My partner found this website, trying to work out his work-clothes issue to accomodate me, since my survival strategy is total avoidance. I got through school uniforms thanks to my mother's amazing ability to sew up velcro and zip versions of the official uniform. I did get bullied about this at school (the uniform difference wasn't obvious until we had to change for sport), but that just made me more determined to get through exams, etc, so that I never had to deal with uniforms again. I have had to deal with them, and it is the hardest thing in the world to tell your boss, but I have had some amazing bosses who have not even blinked and offered to accomodate me in whatever way I feel comfortable. I find the hardest thing is going on holiday and not knowing what the bedding will be like.

For those worried parents out there, I would say don't panic. It is possible to have a happy and contented life with this phobia, and it's not a sign of the start of some massive decline into a major mental illness (which I'm sure my mother always wondered about). I've had this since before I can remember (2 years old), and yes, it can be inconvenient, but it can also drive you to be very good at certain things (lateral thinking, problem solving, negotiation skills). People are also amazed at how calm I can be in emergencies, which is definitely a result of dealing with the adrenaline rush from the phobia so often.

I think I read years ago that the name is "koumpiphobia", but there are no google hits for that. "Kuompi" is the modern Greek word; there was no ancient Greek word?

It is quite bizarre to find anything about, let alone an active thread on this subject. The moment is right and I have never written about it before but I have decided to register on this forum specifically for the purpose of sharing my story or take on this because it may affect others in the same way. I first experienced phobia of buttons at a very early age and I was too young to remember exactly how old I was. I refused to wear anything with any buttons on it and up until the age of 14, I would only wear jogging trousers and a t-shirts. I probably looked pretty scruffy. I don't know how it happened but it has happened with other things I don't want to discuss, I managed to change my fears into my fantasies. Once, on another topic, I sat in a cold sweat for one solid day and several, shorter episodes. I would wake up in panic attacks. Eventually, I couldn't speak to anybody but I knew that I could force this conditioned effect by masturbating whilst in a panicked state. On the subject in hand, I changed my fear of buttons into a completely odd fantasy. I collect materials of women in skirts and cardigans with large buttons, I like women wearing polo shirts, it may be similar to a previous poster. I am also an Asperger Syndrome diagnosee. For anybody who is interesting in the phychological aspect, I have never had a sexual relationship with a woman and I am often turned on more by various fetishes than the thought of a loving relationship, which I know won't happen. Thinking of that is almost a different type of turn on though. Maybe this is too much information for some of you. Sorry =)

I've been an art teacher for twenty years at the same school and loved it. I've always found buttons disgusting and over the last ten years this has become worse to the point of being a phobia. I've never had a real problem as artists and art teachers aren't usually expected to dress in a shirt and tie due to our creative nature and the dirty nature of some areas of the job. I've never gone to a doctor as it's been a minor problem till this year when a new headmaster has demanded all male staff wear shirts and ties. I have had to refuse and he is now beginning formal disciplinary proceedings against me despite my explanation of the circumstances. This is now all of a sudden ruining my life. Is it possible to prove clinically that you do suffer from a phobia? my only hope at the moment is that my union are supporting me on the grounds that his actions are sexually descriminative, but if that fails I will have to leave a school to which I've given half my working life.

Keith - you have my sympathies. Although the sex discrimination approach might work, I think your union should also consider using the terms of the UK Disability Discrimination Act 1995, which covers "a physical or mental impairment which has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on his ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities" and states that employers must make "reasonable adjustments". Any psychologist should be able to provide evidence that you are suffering from a phobia after a consultation.

I want to let Bristol Fetishist know that what he is saying is not too much to handle, but actually possible to relate to. I too have found that I can take something abhorent to me and turn it around to such a degree as to make it become fetishistic. For example, I have an aversion to shirt buttons, especially white ones on dark material. When I see these I feel that I don't want to have any involvement with the person wearing them. Quite repulsed. But, on the other hand I have spent time imagining such clothing being worn as part of a sexual scenario that I'm involved in and have found it very stimulating. It is in some way taking what is forbidden, even though only so in my mind, and then exploring it as a desire. It has a feeling of being risky and close to the bone and that can give it a certain sexual power. I realise that this scenario would mean absolutely nothing to someone who does not share my particular phobia/fetish "condition". To the "average guy in the street" it would be hard for them to imagine what is so abhorent and they would, consequently, fail to understand how I have turned it around to make things easier. However, if I was put into a real sexual scenario involving the said items, I suspect I would find it uncomfortable. So, BF, you are not totally alone in the way you have dealt with your situation by sexualising what you would, ordinarily, recoil from.

i have a form of the button phobia talked about here, i don't break out into sweats with buttons, nor do i think i have any fetish connected to them, but i just simply don't like them.

I can just about handle wearing a normal shirt if i have to, but prefer a tie to cover the buttons, but i really cannot stand polo shirts, and would feel a bit uncomfortable if i had to wear one.

i don't know if it's like some minor autistic type thing in my brain, of whether it's just simply that my mind considers polo shirts to be unsightly/unfashionable, but whether it's an error in my brain or not, i simply can't believe polo shirts are as popular as they are.

I realise for many people, a polo shirt is the middle ground between being smart, (ie: the buttons at the top, and the collar), and being casual (ie: er, the buttons not going all the way to the bottom), but
from my own eyes, id think someone would look smarter/more pleasing in a well fitting quality t-shirt than an ill fitting polo shirt. (well actually with my self admitted button autisim,i'd still prefer an ill fitting t-shirt over well fitted polo shirt, i must admit!)

I mean, go into your local Asda, look at the horrid polo shirts they are forced to wear, their bosses probably think it makes their staff look smart, but they look so cheaply made, horrible material, really bad fitting, (and that's not even mentioning the buttons/collar, that comes as standard with polo shirts.) don't take my word for it, go into your local Asda and realise the horror for yourself.

Another thing that troubles me with buttons, is i can't help think we should have left them where they belong, ie: in the past. When I see shirts, I think, they had shirts in the days of the wild west, it was the best solution at the time, but now we have zips, or even better, clothes that don't need fastenings.

What does bother me, is the fact some people seem to think the shirt and tie is the only way to be smart, i mean, a shirt and tie were just creations dreamed up years ago by someone or some people, is this shirt and tie nonsense going to last forever with us humans? In a hundred years, will that still be the only way the majority think we can look smart?

I agree there does seem a shortage of stuff to wear that is considered 'smart' by most companys. Where I work I used to get moaned at for being a bit scruffy, and managed to stop people moaning by just buying slightly more expensive, better fitting jumpers, (and since then have even had a couple of comments telling me I'm looking rather smart! And in my own opinion, i now look smarter than a few colleges there that just buy any old cheap badly fitting shirt and tie from a shop, and whack it on and think they are instantly 'smart'.)

By the way, anyone who has read this, that does happily wear shirts and/or polo shirts, you have every right to disagree with me - after all, I fully admit I'm in the minority, if I'm in a pub or nightclub, there's probably more shirt wearers than not, and indeed polo shirt wearers, but I can't adjust my brain to like them, nor do I want to adjust my brain.

Also for info, for anyone reading all these posts and trying to put together informed physcological opinions on this subject, i hope i haven't wasted anyone's time with my view on the matter, i don't have quite the same phobia as mentioned by other people, in the sense, i can handle or touch a button without breaking into a cold sweat, but by the same token, i wouldn't be overly happy being in the presence of a button or buttons, and in terms of what my brain sees as pleasing, i just find polo shirts really unpleasing, that's not meant to offend anyone, i'm sure im just as unpleasing to look at as the next man, but i just cannot like buttons, and especially, polo shirts.

mark