Discovery Home & Health

Hi

I wondered if anyone could give any advice on how I go about getting my son down to sleep at night. At the moment he is going to sleep at around 11pm and waking at 6am with numerous wake ups during the night and on a number of occassions ends up in my bed with me! I also have a five year old, so it is very difficult to leave him crying for the fear that he will wake the older child.

He currently only sleeps for around 20-30 minutes during the day and that is normally on my lap or in his car seat or buggy. In the evening he will only go down once he is asleep after his bottle. We also have the problem that we get him to sleep and as soon as we go to lay him in his cot he wakes up and screams and screams and screams!

I am returning to work in September and really want to get this cracked. Please could anyone give me any advice?

Many thanks.

Gail

hi gail
sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time of it.a few weeks ago my little 1 year old moved in to her room(well is one room that we have divided in to 2).she has always goes down easy but the nights that she doesn't we leave her to cry even though it is hard.and now she knows that we don't go back in to her when she crys and she just goes to sleep.we started by putting her to bed at a set time 8.30 after i have finished work and she has had some supper. this gives her time to settle and when we have my partners boys over on weekends when its time for them to go to bed she is fast asleep.have you spoken with your health visitor?
take care
maria
XXX

Hi gail,

sorry to hear about your sleep problems nut at least youre not alone.

Just wanted to agree with Wendy, the controlled crying really does work, and to say why its so important to put them asleep awake. I was told that a baby who is cuddled or soothed to sleep, will wake and be terrified that they are alone, it was likened to us falling asleep in a big comfy bed only to wake up in the back garden not knowing where they are. Apparently thats why rocked babies wake so many times in the night because they dont know where they are or you are. hope that makes sense. I used to have the same problems and it was only when i changed to the controlled crying that bedtime became a pleasure (eventually) for everyone. now she sleeps 11hrs, and im never satisfied i want 12!!!! good luck

I would also try to get him to have more daytime naps as he does seem to be overtired (and I bet is quite grumpy/prone to tantrums) and therefore have problems settling at night. The recommended amount of sleep a baby of that age should have is 15-18hrs in every 24, 10-12 of these at night and the rest during the day either as two naps or one long one.

Is he in a routine which you stick to as much as possible, the routine I had for my little girl at the age went like this.

Up at 7am, bottle of milk, 8am breakfast
play till 9:00 then nap untill 11:00, have a snack
1pm dinner, play till 2pm , then sleep till 4pm,
have a snack, then have tea 5pm, play for 1/2hr till bathtime at 6:00, have bottle of milk, brush teeth, go to bed around 7pm.

The times were not always exact, but always within about 15mins once we got the routine going. Sometimes we had to change because of going away, seeing family, days out etc, but during the week we got back into it pretty easily.

I found that the better the daytime naps were the better nighttime sleep became and the longer she slept, so we worked on this first (+ we seemed to have more patience during the day than last thing at night). I also made sure she always went in her cot for all sleeping (awake) and got things like blackout curtains which helped.

Hi Gail,

I remember how that felt!! My son would not sleep in his cot, I tried putting him down and leaving him but he just screamed for ages.
Eventually I found out about a with-drawal method!
Get into a routine (as mentioned in your other reply's) then when your son is ready for bed, lay him in his cot but stand next to him rubbing his back/belly or cheak, and when he relaxes take your hand away but stay there and gradually move away. Once he starts getting used to this then stop contact and move further away every few nights. It will take a little while but it is well worth it!
Best of luck,
Stacey.

Hi Gail,

I agree with the posts that say that leaving him to cry but reassuring him that you are still there really does help. It is hard and you will feel vile for leaving him cry...as long as you persevere....try standing and just whispering 'sssshhhh' next to him and move a bit further away each time...he will soon get the knack!

The other thing I would highly recommend is playing soft lullaby music for him. I have done this for both of mine and even though now they still have it on at bedtime after stories (they are 4 and 7) it still works and aids them into a very calm and restful sleep.

Good luck and keep at it, it'll work in the end...promise!!!

Natalie x

hi
my son is two and slept through from 8-8 from 9weeks till 9 1/2 months. He then woke one night and i cld not get him back to sleep. the only way was with a bottle of milk. This continued until it wa sthen water in a cup. I still have to sit at his door till he is asleep and when he wakes in the night he will scream until i can't hack it anymore and want to scream. all he says is want mummies bed, lol! as soon as i put him in there he goes straight to sleep!!!
i have tried controlled crying but he got too upset and was sick!! i have decided that i would rather have a decent nights sleep with him inmy bed from baout 3am and a happy baby then be able to say that he sleps throgh he night in his own room!!
don't know if this will be of any use.
Lauren

oh lauren you have my child I think!! I let her fall asleep in my lap on the couch, tip toe her to bed and see her in my bed at about 2 or 3 am. I was so tired of the screaming untill she was sick, some kids really do not cry it out. They just cry and scream forever. I too decided that what works for all of us to get some sleep and sanity was to let it all play out however! My youngest is a champ tho he wants to go to bed and always has! All kids are different

yeah, lewis was sick once or twice aswell. breaks my heart to stand there and know that all i would have to do is sit next to him or pick him up and he would immediately calm. My motto, 'go to bed happy, wake up happy, happy day'. lewis would have even worse nigt if i let him cry etc. then miserable all next day as so tired! i guess he will learn in his own time to sleep on his own in his bed. Just have to wait i guess! nice to hear someone agrreing, most others ie friends have told me to put him in his room close the door and ignore him, i can't do that! it just cruel. then he would put up more protest when put him bed next day wouldn't he. don't want him to be scared of his bed, just got him in 'big boy bed' don't want to reverse the process!
thanks again
lauren

I totally agree! I see no point in making them afraid of their rooms and their beds! They need us now and I can live with that. It will all go by so quickly and they won't even allow us near them or their rooms. I can already see myself crying b/c I want that closeness again! Oh well, todays trials and tribulations will be nothing compared to what we are up against later on down the road![]

my thoughts exactly! found now tho if i leave him with us on sofa until he really tired he goes down on his own as hasn't got the energy to get up and out of bed or to fight the sleep any longer! hoping that maybe this way he will realise he can go to bed on his own and eventually ask to do so or be happy when put down.
gotta go get him from nursery now! i supposed to be at college!

well you're lucky! Mine sits on my lap untill she falls asleep then I tip toe her to bed, she comes in with us in the middle of the night. There have been some nights that she sleeps clean through. If I try to take her when she is really sleepy she just throws a fit and is wide awake again, so you are closer then me to getting them to go to bed on their own! Congrats!!![]