Discovery Home & Health

I have not been fortunate enough to see the pu/pd method and am awaiting the baby whisperer book, which I have on order. But in the meantime, am at the end of my tether and in need of help!! My 10mth old son takes sometimes up to an hour of cuddling and singing, lying on bed, to put to sleep. Then I put him in his cot (and if I'm lucky, he doesn't wake on putting down, or the whole procedure starts again!) He will then sleep from any time between 7:30 and 9pm until approx 6:30am. However during the night he cries/moans countless times in his sleep (while crawling around the cot and burrowing with his head!)and will not settle until picked up and cuddled/rocked and will get v upset if we don't do this. By 4am I am so tired of this, I give in, and lie on the bed with him, and he usually sleeps undisturbed. I have also tried putting him down awake but every time I lie him down, he stands right back up! I have had a serious back op, and find this very hard. Also, he usually only falls asleep initially with me, but will fight and cry with my husband. We are both very tired, having only very broken sleep. Any suggestions gratefully appreciated!!

Hi Ya. I had the same problem as u up til 5 weeks ago then i left my son Nathan crying 4 20 minutes whilst talking 2 my sister on the phone, when i went 2 check on him he was fast asleep & now sleeps all night. What esle u could try is 2 go back & reassure him but leave longer gaps in between until he ends up falling asleep by himself

I just want to let you know that I am currently having exactly the same problems with my ten month old and it is so frustrating. He used to sleep well but now resists and resists falling asleep in his cot, sometimes taking as long as two hours of constant standing up, being laid down, standing up again and so on. If we try to leave the room he goes crazy and gets very distressed. Once he has settled he is very restless from about 4 or 5am and will only settle if he is given comfort and attention. My feeling is that it is linked to separation anxiety and me going back to work recently. He is very clingy at the moment. As a result he is still in our bedroom because it is easier to cope with. I would really like to move him into his own room but just don't see how this is possible at the moment. To be honest I haven't found the baby whisperer's book much help on this. The pu/pd method just isn't getting us any results. I don't believe in leaving babies to cry alone till they fall asleep but at the same time I think this has become a game for him that gets him loads of attention and am starting to think I should leave him for short periods of time. Or maybe I should sit in the room where he can see me but not giving him any attention. But I am really at a loss what to do for the best and will be reading the replies to your question with interest.

hi, I breast fed my little girl,for 12 months she was one on the 5th feb 04,I then found she was feeding for comfort only, i would give her tea at 5.00 bath at 6.30pm and try to get her to bed for 7.30pm but she would sit in her cot crying, i used to hate to her her in such a state everyone on this forum were telling me to leave her to cry, but when i did this she would some times cry for up to an hour.
me and my partner would go in and comfort her and she would cry & scream, but then after 3 months of her staying up till 1.00am and me and my partner getting no time what so ever or our selfs,I had to get stricked and put up with her crying,We did this and she got a lot better,the crying got shorter each night, leave him in his cot with his bottle of milk, every 10 mins check on him, reasure him, tell him its only bed time etc.The key to my daughter sleeping through the night was me stopping breast feeding, i did this a week after her 1st birthday and now she has a nap 1.00pm till 2.30pm then she goes to bed with a bottle of full fat cows milk at 7.30pm and wakes up once in the night for 3oz of milk and gets up at 7.30am its the first time in 12 months i've had a nights sleep.I know the sound of your son crying for half an hour crying will be upsetting but try to do some thing that will distracted you ie watch tv, listen to music, prepare your sons meals for next day. if you dont toughen up with him then he will get used to this bad bedtime routine and you will be doing this when he's 1 1/2,2,1/2 3 years etc babies get into bad routines and we have to get them back out of them and teach them properly.hope my advise has helped as i do know what your going through as me and my fiance have just gone through all of this!

well, i was just about to post a similar thing! my daughter is 9 1/2 mths and has been sleeping for around 12 hours every nite from about 8 wks old but just recently she has been waking up at 2.50 most mornings just to be tucked in again and going back to sleep-no feed or nappy change wanted! we also find it difficult to get her off to sleep now that she has started to pull herself to a standing position in her cot-my partner is terrified of her falling backwards and bashing her head on the bars of the cot! but we have started to leave her standing and crying for about 5 mins then going up & lying her back down & leaving her for another 5 mins b4 going back. we r still in the process of gradually increasing the gap in between lying her back down and it seems to be working as she is getting bored very quickly and going off to sleep! hope you manage to get some result with whichever way u try. i have had a couple of nights waking up every hour and that was tiring enough; poor u, i do hope you manage to get losts of rest soon!

Hi there. my son is two and i have the same problem. He has been doing it since he was 11months. I tried leaving him to cry but gets too upset. My oartner gets angry with me when he screams so i can not do that! i don't agree with leaving them to cry alone but i have run out of ideas too. I can put him to bed and sit as his bedroom door. he can see me but gets no sttention. This he is fine with and may tae 5-10 mins to go to sleep. however, if i stand outside his door where he can't see me, all hell breaks loose. when he wakes in the night i tend to just put him in my bed as means i get decent nights sleep and my partner and i don't argue! sorry not really advise but just nice to knwo someone else hey?
lauren

if you want to get them in a good routine you have to follow the same thing everynight, if eventually you give in and let them sleep in your bed or rock them to sleep you are back to square one again (this is easier said than done when you are tired i know)
You lay the child in their cot and say night night time, kiss them and leave the room, if they get up and call you ignore them but if they cry go back in and say night time and lay them back down, try not to have any other conversation with them or get them out of the cot to cuddle them, again leave room, if they cry again go in and lay them down and say nothing and keep repeating this until they go to sleep, sometimes first time sometimes can take 20-30 times. Your child is learning that they will get no reward for not going to sleep.
If you have a very determined child who will not let you leave room without crying hysterically try sitting in room but avoiding eye contact and if they cry get up lay them down and go back to sitting on the floor/chair again. eventually each night you can move closer to door until you are actually outside of door.
It does work if you follow it through and i know with 5 children under 9 that sleep deprivation is worse than nearly any other problem we can have with children but if you break the routine and go in and cuddle them or take them into your bed you are right back to square one again. Good luck and hope night times become easier v soon

julesrush