Discovery Home & Health

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind me butting in and firstly, huge congrats to you all.

This is really a message for Pobbins:

I've just read your last post and my heart just went out to you hun!! Breastfeeding is not always easy - despite what some people may have you believe. Please don't beat yourself up about Scarlett - you were not to know that she is lactose intolerant, and in the early days with a new-born, you world is so upside down with lack of sleep and trying to get a handle on it all (especially when it's your first) that you do all sorts to try to make it work and listen to anything that anyone suggests. Just try to take it one day at a time and it will come right eventually, I promise. There is a thread over on Parenting by BabyUSA (who is still b/f) which I will try to bump up for you - she really is the knowledgeable one on this front. Scarlett is so beautiful - you really are blessed.

Take it easy.

Lots of love
Ali
xxx

PS - for all of you, try to work out how to b/f lying down!! I know that sounds awful (and you are probably shouting at me "what if I squash him/her" but as long as you have not had alcohol etc instinct will prevail. I finally cracked feeding lying down when oldest dd was about to give up (typical) and it was a life saver. You can feed and doze at the same time (without getting a sore back and neck). Basically, you lie baby on the bed with head level to your boob - crook you arm over and around baby (to protect and support), get a good latch and away you go. Baby gets to feed and you get a chance to top up the zzzz's. It does take some practice to get the right angle (and dp was horrified the first time I did it with Darcey) as he was sure she would not survive, but make sure you push the duvet back and keep the pillows pushed up towards the top of the bed so that there is no danger of smothering. Also, as soon as baby has finished feeding, try to pop him/her back into their own bed so that you don't have problems later on. (so saying, I used to fall asleep and wake up hours later with Darcey still latched on and sucking away, still in our bed - 2 years later, she slept last night, in her own bed for 13 hours, so it is all relative!) Best of luck to you all. Ali xxx

Pobs- sorry you are feeling so down honey. I just wanted to second what AliCee said and feeding lying down was a real life saver for me. My HV showed me how to do it so you don't roll onto your baby. If you lie on your side with your top leg bent and against the bed (like in the recovery position) it will stop you rolling over if you fall asleep.

HTH and you get some well needed rest soon.

x

(((((Pobs))))) please don't beat yourself up hun, If your doc says Scarlett has a virus then of course you'll take their word for it, I for one wouldn't recognise lactose intolerance thank god for your HV. I'm glad Scarlett is showing improvement and you are getting the support you need. Good luck with increasing your milk supply hun.

Thanks Alicee and rusty about the tips on feeding lying down, I have tried it successfully a few times both with imogen and ben but it still terrifies me and both me and DH worry about him rolling onto her. Imogen is getting better at sleeping in her crib now.

Amy hope the wedding went well today.

Well had a better night, expressed some milk so DH could feed imogen, gave her a big feed then went to bed at 9.30. DH bless left me to sleep til 1am then I took over and Imogen the little star slept in her crib fron 2.45-4.30 and then 5-8.30 so I got lots of sleep. Hoping for the similar tonight but not holding my breath.

hi everyone else x

Hi,
sorry not been on in a few days to post but not felt up to it at all..

Mason is doing great, has really settled down and is growing bigger by the day, ive started expressing now and freezing it as i am going back to work part time starting tuesday.. I really dont want to but we really need the money.. I was going to give him formula in the day and still bf him morning and when i get home and during the night but to give him formula feels so wrong and i feel so guilty doing it as he gets upset after a feed, he doesn't like the stuffed feeling i think, also he hardley poo's when hes had it.. sooo, i am trying to stock up, got 8oz lastnight, but not even an ounce today for some reason, i will try again later,
I went to see my bestest friend yesterday, (we were in college together when we were 17) she is just getting over her PND, and i was talking to her, like you pobs i didn't realise until i started talking how bad i was.. but its looking like i could have it.
When i saw the Dr for my postnatal check on thursday, it wasn't my dr, so i didn't open up like i wanted to but she asked how i felt but she took the words right out of my mouth when she said 'spaced out', thats exactly how i feel..Its not from lack of sleep i know that coz i go to bed at 10pm and only get woken once at 4.30am and thats only for 30 mins or so, we didn't wake up til 8.30am this morning so im getting plenty of sleep, but i still feel unrefreshed when i get up..
anyways, my friend said yesterday that when she got home from coming to see me when mason was a week old, she said that i wasn't the same, and she knew i wasn't myself, so obviously my brave face isn't working,
I honestly feel like i am falling apart and ive made a huge selfish mistake,(not having mason, but the fact i couldn't just be happy with 3, Dh was right when he said i'd never cope with 4.)
i just want to feel like myself again- instead of having panic attacks everytime i go outside or try and go shopping, i try not to take the kids shopping if i can help it as i am scared i will lose the plot while they are nagging for this and that, and end up being sectioned lol.. my head litterally whirls when i am shopping ofr trying to do tea or anything that involves thinking or concentration, i had to drive to Rhyl and back today so Dh could pick up his new car.. and i was having constant panic attacks and thought i was going to end up in the central reservation. I told dh i didn't feel up to it but he was nasty (as he is all the time at the moment) and said he would have to bother someone else, then i was so tired when we got back and still had to do tea while he tottered off to his cushy sit down and ferry people around job. which he admitted he would rather do than be near me! great or what, and when i had a go at him for not helping me he started shouting nasty things then. I dunno, i just hate the fact that his lazy selfish family are on the same estate as us(les than 30 seconds away) and do nothing to help, and my mum is hundreds of miles away and would do anything to help me and see her grandchildren everyday. I feel like packing up and moving back to my mums- not possible i know but thats how i feel,
well, i think ive depressed everyone enough now so i'll shut up.

pobs.. so sorry to hear you have hada rough time with scarlett, cant believe they didn't pick it up sooner,.. dont beat yourself up about messing the bf about, or scarlett gaing 'too much weight??' wtf, i ouldn't say thats over weight, i didn't that was an issue, they will have a shock when they see mason next then if thats the case coz im sure he must be at least 14lb..
As Alicee and rusty have said, try and get to grips with the feeding and lying down, its a life saver, ive done it with all 4 and they are still here, i think you automatically go into the position they have said as thats how i feed aswell, my MW called it the protective C position or something as its quite a curved shape you are in, not sure,but i lie on top of the duvet and make sure my pillows are on top of the top of duvet, and just have a cellular blanket over us, i put a crib sheet under masons head and i lie on a bit of it to hold it flat, that way it catches the milk and dribbles!
but everyone should do what is best for them with no pressure!

Amy.. hope the weather stayed nice for you! you are prob a tad tipsy by now eh? lol!!

sorry i have gone on a bit there, and not fin personals but mason needs feeding now,

ttfn,
Emma & Mason. xx

((((((Angel)))))) just wanted to give you a big hug too. Maybe having some adult time away from work might help? I hope you start to feel better soon you sound so overwhelmed, i wish there was something i could say, i really feel for you hun. Thanks for the tips on the co-sleeping/feeding, might try that as being on top of the duvet automatically cuts the risk of dh rolling over. Can i ask what you do when you are feeding baby facing the edge of the bed, do you use a bed guard? need to get a cellular blanket from somewhere, only ever seen baby ones.

i just popped on to give angel massive hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx i really feel for you hun, and it doesnt help when your dp isnt being considerate xxx you need some time to yourself hunny, even an hour. aw pet, if i lived near you Id call over xxx

kate...you mentioned bed gaurds, I swear by them, you can get handy white mesh ones that slide under the mattress easily.It would mean you can get out of te bed without climbing over a permanent bed gaurd.

Morning ladies and babies!
Just wanted to say thankyou to kate and michie for the hugs.. i find it crazy how people you havent even met before or even spoken to can make you feel so much more better! thankyou!
Well i am ok up to now, i think it as the day goes on i start to feel it. so i wont go on about it now, did enough of that yesterday!!

Kate.. I have a super king size bed that almost fills my bedroom lol.. so the moses basket is a perfect fit between the wall and my bed! so if he was to roll out he would land in his basket lol! but there is about a foot and a half between him and the edge of the bed anyway so we are not too bad in that area at the moment, and dh sleeps nearer the end of his side, well away from us, i must say his thrashing about has almost disapeared since he was born, i am always on my guard though and usual feed him on that side when we go to bed when he isnt there, then when i feed him at 4.30 my back is to Dh anyway so its not too bad.
I never thought about a bed guard actually, then again when mason wriggles it wakes me up anyway, so i suppose if he were to try and move id see it!! (am i rambling on??)
I wanted to say yesterday aswell before i ran out of time posting that i think Imogen looks so much like you!!! aw, she is lovely!!

well, i need to sort dinner out now,
be back soon. Emma & MAson. xx

Hi ya ladies.
Well i had a brilliant day yesterday.
The day was amazing i was so nervous about walking down the isle but once i got there i was fine.
My BIL speech was a tear jerker and i filmed the lot so when they get back from honeymoon we will have a dvd made up of the day.
All in all a fab day and they are so happy!
Also they are going for a honeymoon baby so hopefully Ciaran will have a cousin in the not too distant future!

Pobs- You poor thing it sounds like you have had a right time of it. But at least things are getting sorted now and Scarlett is getting what she needs.
Your HV sounds really helpful and kind.
Just having a good night's sleep will do you the world of good and help you cope better as being tired really accentuates things.
Keep your chin up it can only get better. x

Kate- Glad the expressing is going well. Have you got manual or electric?
It must make BF so much better.
Good amount of sleep for only a week old!

Angel- Poor you too pnd is not nice by the sounds of things you are really suffering.
When my HV came round i had to do a questionnaire type thing which assessed how i cope with certain things and about crying and how i feel i get on with everyday type situations.
I scored 6 and they don't worry unless you score over 12 so i did really well.
Did you do anything like that?
I do get times when i burst into tears and things get too much but that is nothing to worry about.
I have a really good dh who helps me and knows before i did that i am needing a bit of help.
Have you spoke to your mum about things?
If you are quite close it might help to just talk to her and maybe she could look after the kids for a couple of hours whilst you get 'me time'.
At least you are facing that you have pnd and can work on it and get help from others.
This feeling won't last forever and having 4 kids must be draining but you have done so well and they will love having so many brother's and sisters when they get older.
You will be able to watch your kids together and the stress will so be worth it.


I hope if anyone is feeling down they are telling someone in the 'real' world not just on here.
We are all here for support but there is nothing like opening up to your mum or whoever you are close to.

Well Ciaran's rash on his face and neck has cleared up loads since the HV said not to use bubble bath and we have been using E45 on his skin.
It has worked a treat.
I also want to add how good my boy was yesterday.
He slept nearly all day just waking up for a feed and some attention every now and again but loads of people commented on how good he was.
I am so proud of him!
I better get of to have dinner before dh goes off to basketball.
We are having a night out together tomorrow.
We are going to see Batman and then an Italian meal and nanny is looking after Ciaran which she is very exited about.
Hope all the other girls are well and loving motherhood.
Lots of love. Amy and Ciaran. xxxxxxx

Hi amy..
great to hear you had such a lovely day yesterday and that Ciaran was such a good boy! Your Dh sounds great helping you out, I am close to my mum..but not in distance.. i am in wales and she is in south yorkshire so its an all day trip to see my mum, i only get to see her a few times a year which i find hard in normal cir****tances.. it seems even worse when ive had a baby because i just want my mum, i tell her i'm not feeling right and she just says 'oh well', i dont think she likes to think of me struggling on my own but there isn't a lot we can do about it now, i have my life here and hers is there.. end of basically.
Ive never done a questionaire with the hv, she is coming to see me tomorrow at 2pm so i will try and have a chat with her about how i feel. I dont know what i will do if i have it, as soon as someone says the word it makes me feel sick.... ever since i had Abbie..

well, i think i need to stop trying to be super mum and chill, maybe i am making things 10 times worse by trying to keep the house in order and make sure all 4 children are spik and span..even when we dont have to go out, i haven't stayed in my pj's once since he was born i have to be up bathed and dressed asap and be 'going somewhere or doing something' not sure why?? so i think i will try and chill and slow down a bit, i feel so hyperactive.. is that normal or what?

right, shall stop bugging yous all now and buzz off,

Emma and Mason. xx

ps, Amy, i just discovered Catbook!! i think its great lol!! kept me entertained for a few mins!

Sorry for gatecrashing your thread ladies!
I just wanted to say CONGRAULATIONS to Kate on the arrival of Imogen (lovely name btw!) hope you are both well
xx

ps congratulations to everyone else too!

Hiya everyone,
hope you are all well,
and managing tosurvive with lack of sleep,

pobs.. how is scarlett doing now? have you managed to get your supply back up again?
I went and bought an electric pump today from mothercare as they are on offer.. ive just managed to sterilize it but not had time to give it a go so once ive done tea and sorted the monsters then i will try do it then! hope you have managed to catch up on some sleep, have you had a go sleep-feeding?

kate.. how are you getting on with your expressing? what pump do you have? do you expess every day or just as and when? have you had a go at sleep-feeding aswell yet?!
i forgot to say in my last post about the cellular blanket, i got mine from matalan, its a cot/cotbed one but its HUGE! Well its big enough for me anyway and i'm 5'9! its started to get a bit nippy at night now though so i have a sheet the same size with it! at least i know he wont over heat with just that and then when he goes back in his basket i get back under the duvet!!

well, i hope sezzy, babyno5, kirsten, kirsty, ualreadykno, and everyone else is ok, we aint heard off you in a while.. drop us a line sometime eh?

I had HV visit me today, i told her as much as i could about how i feel, and dh being useless, and she gave me the questionaire to do, well i scored 19, she said it is a bit higher than they would like but given what i had just told her, its more than self explanitory...
saying that i feel a bit better today..

{a short while later!!}

just had tea, and expessed an ounce?? not sure the electric pump is any better....
omg.. i had hawian pizza 4 tea and had to take the pineapple off lol...!! think i had enough the last few weeks of pg to last me a lifetime!!

righty ho, i am feeding and trying to left hand type and eat so i will leave it there,

Emma & mason. xx

Hi angel,

Not tried the sleep feding since your post but did do it last weekend as was desperate. Imogen has settled right down (touch wood) been getting 6-8 hrs sleep the last 3 nights, she slept 12-4 and then 6-8.30 last night and we were only up so long in between cos of her darn hiccups and pooing lol !!! plus a big feed. Now I'm getting more sleep the night feeds aren't too bad and she's now fine sleeping in her crib. I think the first few days it was wind and my milk not being in that was the problem as she's a different baby, seems content and only cries when hungry or being changed/dressed. She even loved her bath last night!

I use the avent manual pump, I get on fine with it. Am only getting 2 oz at the mo but I remember with Ben after a few weeks I could get 5 oz easily. Just doing it as and when at the mo so DH can feed her if I have an early night and for if I go shopping with Ben as he will hate being stuck in a feeding room while I feed her and I'm not keen on doing it in public.

Glad you managed to speak to the HV. So what happens now after doing the questionnaire?

Well we went shopping today and it was fine, not even stressful. DH took Ben off while I fed Imogen in mothercare and she just slept the rest of the time and Ben was a good boy too. He likes being in the front of the new pushchair, kept looking behind to check on Imogen. My little lady exploded though, went to change her and as soon as I took her nappy off she started to poo and wee everywhere it was all over her vest, socks and trousers. Luckily I had a spare vest and socks, had to hide her bare little legs under a blanket so will make sure I have a full outfit in the change bag from now on. It was funny though!!!

Was thinking, do we think we'll hear from Meadow and Emzeih again?

Kate, i was thinking exactly the same.. was gonna pm you bout it earlier but as you have mentioned it now,,
As they aren't regular posters im sure they wouldn't mind
lets see what the others think.

off to bed got work tomorrow, eeeeek,
Emma.x

Hi all, sorry I haven't been on for a while, I've been struggling with lack of sleep, am a bit overwhelmed by it all TBH. We've been nursing or cuddling Carys to sleep (without even realising it lol!) and so she now won't go to sleep in her Moses basket. We put her in the Moses basket when we go to bed and she won't go to sleep. Even if we try and cuddle her to sleep she won't go off, I think she must have to have awake time between 10/11pm and 3am+ which is absolutely excrutiating. She eventually drops off about 3-4am then she wakes again for a feed at around 7am, sometimes earlier. The trouble is, I can't usually sleep during the day (I've REALLY tried) so I'm worn out.

Also, she hadn't regained her birth weight when we went to the HV last Wednesday, and so is still 8lb 1oz, so as well as BFing her I've been expressing to top her up in the nights. So I'm feeding/expressing for around 1.5 hours out of every 2-3 hours, which doesn't leave a lot of time for anything else, let alone posting on here!

Please someone tell me this gets better soon? If so, roughly when?

DH is still off work as he took 2 weeks AL as well as PL and he goes back next Tuesday after the bank hol. I do not know how I will manage when he goes back, at the moment he is getting al lmy glasses of water, meals and snacks and even feeding me if necessary lol, as well as doing all the shopping, washing and cleaning. I just don't know how I am going to manage all that myself

Pobs, my heart goes out to you hun, you sound like you're having a nightmare. Hopefully the work you are doing to increase your supply will have kicked in now. I really can feel for you with the lack of sleep affecting your milk supply as that is what happened to me. Really hope things are improving for you now lovely (((((((hugs)))))) xxxx

Angel, (((((((((hugs))))))))) for you too xxxx you really do sound like you're down in your last-but-two post. Good that you've had a couple of brighter posts though. Hopefully your mood has lifted for good now. And I defo think you should let the standards slip once or twice lol! And very good luck for work tomorrow.

Kate, OMG, it sounds like Imogen was just like Carys re: the sleeping and Moses basket and now you're getting 6-8 hours sleep! What is your secret, how did you crack it?? PLEEEAAASE tell!

Amy, glad teh wedding went well, and Ciaran sounds like such a good baby. IWOOT please!

With the night sleeping, doesn't it give babies even more sleep associations which mean they are even less likely to sleep on their own? It sounds like such a good idea but I'm scared to do it incase Carys ends up in our bed till she's 18!

Hope everyone else is ok - Paula, how are you doing? And Babyno5? And all the otehr new mums?

xx

Sezzy my heart goes out to you hun (((((( )))))) I hope Carys settles down soon for you. My DH goes back to work next tues too.

Well I think a lot of the problem with Imogen was before my milk came in properly and also she was really windy. First I startd to give her infacol before each feed and she brings up her wind much easier. At night we only use a night light and talk in whispers to help her know the difference between night and day. For 2 nights I expressed milk and went to bed at 9 and DH stayed up til 12 so at least I'd got 3 hrs in before the dreaded night shift. It made dealing with it much easier and for a couple of nights I'd dose sat upright propped up with pillows after feeding which meant by the time either me or DH woke Imogen was in a deep sleep which meant we could get her in the crib and she'd sleep a couple of hrs instead of crying as soom as she hit the mattress. I think this is what got her used to sleeping in her crib rather than having to have close contact. Each night got a little better and we now all go up a the same time and I can usually now put her straight into the crib after a feed and she will stay asleep. Last night she slept 11.45-2.15 had a feed then she slept from 2.50 til 3.30 but only cos she woke with hiccups. She went straight off after a 10 min cuddle and woke at 5.30 for a feed then slept 6-8.30. We have had 5 good nights but its early days she could have a terrible night tonight for all we know. I don't know if there is anything I've mentioned that you could try.

Angel I hope work went well today, what is it you do?

Well the Imogen had her repeat hearing test today as her left ear failed the test done at hospital but its fine now which is great. The HV is coming tomorrow, I'm really nervous to see what Imogen weighs. Feeding is going well and she poo's a lot so hopefully she's getting enough milk but she still seems tiny she still perfectly fits mothercare tiny baby size or next small baby. We'll see.

Right better start thinking about getting Imogen ready for bed.