Discovery Home & Health

((((Kate)))) - Sorry you are having such a bad time at the moment and its not helped by your feeling like cr@p. I am sure your DH is trying to be there for you as best as he can. Stubborness is an awful thing, try not to let it get the better of you

Maybe you should test it would put your mind at rest at least especially when it seems to be quite common to still have af.

I am due af on Monday. Got impatient and took a test that gives result 4 days early. DH was convinced I was pg as I have been so tired. It had came back an extremely faint positive. I am looking and looking at it thinking I am imagining the line. Its soooo faint. Am tempted to send him out to get another so I can do it first thing in the morning. Kate - if this is me on my journey - I sooo hope to take you with me!

Stay strong
x

Good Afternoon

Dh and I are talking now I am so easy, it only takes a Fu Yung and some Fried Rice and i'm like putty!!

We made up last night, Dh asked me waht day I was, I told him it was cd17 and he said right lets get upstairs. When we started he, er, lost it. I was gutted. Tried reassuring him by saying it didn't matter thinking that might make it happen, but nothing. Of course then I got into a sulk as it made me feel unattractive, i'm too fat, too ugly, etc etc. I was trying to be kind to him, but in the back of my mind thinking COME ON IT's CD17! Anyway, nothing happened so I rolled over and went to sleep.

When I woke up this morning he was 'up for it' but ds was shouting us from his room, so had to get up. Anyway, cd18 today so stillin my 'fertile stage' until tomorrow according to web calculators so maybe tonight.

Lost a pound today, not due my official weigh in, but it's reassuring especially after my chinese takeaway last night. Making a lovely homemade soup for lunch, lentils, carrots, leeks and potatoes...yummmmmmmmy!

So, now to my ongoing pains and moans and groans and other annoying traits I have I am doing my weekly shop this afternoon and buying a cheap pregnancy test. I can't stand anymore guessing and obsessing over these symptoms, so will test tonight and no whether it's a yes or no.

I am getting nausea on and off every day, headaches that feel like someones sitting on my head ( ), sore and sensitive boobs with occasional sharp shooting pains down to the nipples, swollen tummy, af type cramps which have been here for about 4 weeks now, dizzy feeling when I get up, confused feeling like brain fog - yesterday put the milk in the cupboard and ds's play doh in the fridge??? Ratty mood feeling very sad one minute then very happy the next minute, funny twinges in lower tummy, very sensitive bits (down below), windy, weeing 2-3 times through the night, really tired.

So there we have it. If I was reading someone elses post stating each of those symptoms I would say 'you're pregnant' but because I had af and a bfn the day af came i'm faffing around wondering 'am I' or 'aren't I'? No more messing about now, will do a test and no for certain.

After talking to my friend about her having af then testing positive a few weeks later I had some hope. The last night spoke to a cousin who i've not spoken to for ages. She was saying that when she got pg with her dd she thought she was pg but her af started. She continued having symptoms then got her bfp the following month. At her dating scan she was 4 weeks further on than she thought, so she must have been pregnant when she had her af type bleed!


Pyjama Girl....have you done another test yet? I'm really excited for you. A faint positive is still a positive, so I would take it as a BFP! With ds the first test I did was so faint you could only see the line if you held the test up to the light and tilted it to a precise angle DH said I was seeing things, so I drank a 500ml bottle of water and ran to the loo to do another test (yes, I was stupid!!!) it was BFN. I left it and tried again 2 days later and got a bfp. FMU is the best time to test as it's more concentrated. Really keeping my fingers crossed for you....take me with you if you're off!

Kate
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((((Kate)))) Dont worry. It wont be that you are unattractive it will just because maybe your DH feeling a bit of pressure. It is like that when you are 'trying' rather than when you do it for 'fun'.

You definately need to do a test with those symptoms. When I was pregnant with my ds first test was negative and that was when I was late so get POAS!!!!! and let me know. Everything crossed that this is your month.

Second test was also postive. Got DH to get one this morning. Got clear blue digital. I am really pleased but nervous as hell. Im worry that something will go wrong and I have had a bit of low backache today so I was 'obsessing' about that.

I am crossing everything for this to be a sticky bean and I really hope to take you with me . *pj girl cyber drags kate onto due in July thread....* Everything crossed for you. Will be keeping an eye on your thread for a BFP update soon

xxxxx

Evening all

Just got back from doing our weekly shop, but I couldn't get a test....GUTTED!

We were strolling down the fish aisle, got some lovely Extra Special Salmon fishcakes on offer! Then saw my Mum, she decided to join us for the whole shop. Normally I wouldn't mind my Mum knowing, but I don't want added pressure of people knowing that we're ttc. I think everyone knows we're trying as I have been gooey over babies all year, but I don't want it made official as it's already a lot of pressure just trying to get pregnant!

So DH is going to get one in the morning! OMG talk about dragging something out!

We have planned to bd tonight, i'm trying to act really casual saying that i'm fertile for ages yet (even though tomorrow is the last day) so that DH doesn't feel pressured.

If i'd managed to get a hpt from Asda I would know whether we actually needed to bd. I could do a test in the morning and get a bfp (in my dreams) so the worry about bd'ing at the right time would be daft.

While in the shower I noticed a really hard ridge (?) above my bikini line, a few inches below my belly button. It is about 3-4 inches wide. I don't know how long it's been there as i've never been this paranoid before but I looked it up on t'inernet and it's a sign of early pregnancy. So, I have officially built my hopes up that I will get a bfp when I test. In reality there's a slim chance and I am worried that if I get a bfn I will be gutted. I suppose though that if it is bfn I am already approaching my next 2ww so can keep symptom spotting until my next 'af due day'

Oh well, probably won't post again until i've done the blasted test as I am annoying myself, so must be annoying all of you!

PJ-CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! I am really happy for you and your DH. Wait for me, i'm trying to come with you!!

Kate
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Evening all

Well got up this morning feeling awful. Had another argument with dh about bd'ing, we did it again last night but he 'lost it' again before the end. I was gutted, I couldn't even speak to him and just got up and left the room. Didn't know how to react and i'm pretty sure that I reacted the wrong way, but it's such a mad situation when you know that you need to bd to get pregnant, and you only have a couple of days to bd otherwise you're out for a whole month!

I felt sick all morning, dh and I had a chat about last night and he admitted that he feels under lots of pressure to perform as he knows how much we both want another baby. He said that as soon as he tells himself not to 'lose it' he loses it! I've told him that we're out for this month as yesterday was my last fertile day this month, but i'm still ok today, so hopefully we'll manage to bd tonight.

Got an Asda hpt this afternoon and got a bfn

It's a bit of a shock, mainly due to all the symptoms i've been getting. However, I have to say that I am relieved. When I had ds it was such a healthy pregnancy and I would have been worried sick because of the 'af type bleed' and been constantly comparing it to when I was pregnant with ds.

Another positive point is that it's only 12 days until next af due day So as long as we can bd tonight I might still stand a chance this month. The last time we bd'd was cd12 so I don't think that will be any help to this ttc mission unless i've ov'd early.

I'm feeling slightly confused. If i'm not pregnant why am I feeling so poorly? I am going to give it a few days then will go to the docs as i'm bit worried.

Feeling shattered, so will leave it here for today. I hope that my post tomorrow contains news of a successful bd tonight...it's not too much to ask for is it?

Kate
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Hi Kate,

I thought I'd drop you a line to say you're not alone in all this. So many people say how great their DH's are with this TTC lark but I've had the same problem as you. Reading your diary I'm glad it's not just me. My DH has also had probs finishing off (if you know what I mean!!!!) and I respond in a similar way to you, getting stroppy. I thought he wasn't trying hard enough but now I know the pressure can be too much for him. Now I don't tell him when I'm fertile and this way he won't be under any pressure. He knows though..it's obvious!

I think your diary is a great idea and i'm enjoying reading it. I feel like a stalker now!! I don't get to use the internet much so when I do everything on the 2ww thread moves so fast I can't keep up. As a result I don't post much so you may not recognise me. Your diary (and the 12 months+ thread move much more slowly though, so are easier to follow!!

I'm so sorry about your bfn. It was looking so hopeful for you aswell.

Fingers crossed for both of us for this month...it's month 18 of ttc for me..bummer. Been referred to gyne dept next month so at least something's progressing for me!!!

Chebs

Hello

Well, for those who read the 2ww thread you will know that I am classing myself as out of the running this month. DH and I tried to bd again last night, but for the 3rd time running dh couldn't 'finish'. I was devastated, as was he.

He tried to blame me for a second saying that I should keep my dates to myself as that's what was stressing him out. I then explained that I have a billion times more stress than him, looking after ds, managing our finances, working full time (although its working from home), cleaning, cooking, shopping, paying bills, ironing, washing, AND trying to get pregnant, symptom spotting and generally obsessing about ttc every single day!

We never spoke and spent the entire morning in silence before he went to work. I then started to feel bad and phoned him to say I was sorry.

I just do not know what to do, I wish there was a way I could get pregnant without having to depend on someone else. At least if it was just down to me I could blame myself for whats happening.

I love my dh so much, we are soul mates, we've been together 10 years (met at uni) and been married for 4 years. He is an amazing Dad to ds and pulls his weight with things when he's off work. Why can't he just get his head past the 'stress' and get on with it?

I will try to pop back on after America's Next Top Model I am addicted to crap reality tv!!!

Kate
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Hello

I'm sorry for the short post last night, I was aiming to do a long post but then America's Next Top Model started to had to run.

Chebs: I'm sorry I didn't reply to you last night, just wanted to say thank you so much for your message. I recognise your username so must have 'bumped into each other' on the boards somewhere along the way Good luck with your gyne appointment, at least you know they are looking into things at that point. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. xxx

I wanted to start this ttc diary as when I started ttc I looked on lots of websites for a journal of symptoms, feelings, ups and downs, etc, but couldn't find anything. I'm hoping that even though some of the stuff I write about is embarrassing it might help others feel like they're not alone. ttc is so, so hard and it's shock when we're bought up to always use contraception. The big belief is that if you have unprotected sex you WILL get pregnant. Funny how things aren't like that for everyone. Some women only have to look at a man's willy and they get pregnant If only it was that easy!!!!

Well, it's cd21 for me today which means 10 days until testing. I am feeling very happy today......guess who bd'd last night, without any problems? Wooo hooo! I am so happy, although at cd20 I don't know if it was too late to count. I'd had ewcm all day so think that might mean it was a good time to bd. I am such an amateur for someone who's been 'trying' for 11 cycles!!

Dh got in from work at 11pm and we decided to have a few drinks, now neither of us really drink these days, maybe the odd few drinks at xmas and parties but thats it. Anyway I cracked open a bottle of Taboo and DH had some of his Scrumpy, god we sound like a right pair! We'll be appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show next
Went to bed at 1am and spent an hour just having drunken sex, it was cool! Then spent 20 minutes air cycling with a pillow shoved under my bum....ooooh sexy! I had 3 shots of Taboo with Lemonade, I know drinking is irresponsible, but i've got to a stage where I think sod it and it's not like we got wasted it was just a few. With ds I had a mammoth drinking binge when I was 3 weeks pregnant (I didn't know I was pg), the important thing is that I didn't touch a drop of alcohol for the remaining 8 months of my pregnany and he was born healthy and strong.

Anyway, DH felt like a hero for 'finishing off' and I felt great that I can take part in the 2ww again, although af is officially due in just 10 days - eeek!

When I fell pg with ds we did it on cd19 of a 28 day cycle, so maybe I ov late. My cycles are now 31 days, so i'm hoping that this late action might actually work as other months we stick to days 14-18.

Going to put symptoms etc out of my head now until af due day....yeah right I've got 2 dates to play with this month, we have only bd'd twice once early and once late (cd12 and cd20) so fingers crossed one of them might hit the target!

Right, off for my din dins.

Kate
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kate, im so nosey lol....was working out dates from wot u said, sounds like ur in with a chance!! if u ovulate 14 days prior to ov, on a 28 day cycle, dats day 14 (slap bang in the middle )and if u bd on cd12, they hang around for 3 days, so they mite have been there waiting on the egg!!! but i think u ovulated when u had ewcm tbh.dat only comes wen u ov. so glad it happened for u!! i was goin to say try having a couple of drinks to take dh's mind off the pressure. and if u conceived then, isnt it nice that it was in the midst of passion!!
fingers crossed for u!! xxxx

Hi Michie

Thanks for that

Yes, we were saying that last night about if I get pg this month we'll know the occassion that made it happen! With ds we know the occasion as it was a 'one off' that month, and it was over the bath tub in a fancy hotel. God the embarrassment!!!

Fingers crossed for you this month. Will you be testing on af due day? My af is due in 10 days but will wait an extra couple of days to test. I usually test the morning af is due, but it's getting really hard and quite heartbraking to test, get a bfn then af turn up. So this month I will wait to see if she does/doesn't turn up then test...oooh I get butterflies just thinking about it!

Kate
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Kate- I think we should put bets on this.
I bet you won't be able to wait until after your af to test and i have a feeling i'm going to win if i know you!!!!!!!!!
In fact i expect you have a few stand by tests in a draw somewhere or will get a cheepy test before af comes.
Am i right?

You know me too well

I have a cheap Asda test safely tucked away in my drawer just waiting

lol ive a test in the drawer too!! ive to test in 9 days, dont think ill contain myself longer, as its the first time ttc, since i got the mirena out . i understand were ur coming from tho. hope this is the one for you though xx

Kate - Yeeaayyyy for your bd-ing session sounds like you had a great time

Ive everything crossed you've caught that egg I will be keeping my eye out for more news!!!!!

PJ x

Evening Ladies

I'm late posting today, I did a post on the 2ww thread earlier but forgot to do my diary, terrible aren't I?

Well, there's a niggling little voice in my head saying "start symptom spotting, that was a twinge, what could it mean" but I am ignoring it! If I ov'd early (which I am almost certain I never) I could be feeling implantation about now, but I only got ewcm a couple of days ago so i'm assuming that if we do conceive this month it will have only just happened, or it might even be happening right this minute while i'm typing this message!

Really need to get the next week out of the way, but feel like i'm just wasting my life away waiting to test each month. For those who've read this diary from the beginning my 'af bits and bobs' are still out in the bathroom. I was looking at them earlier thinking about how I said at the start of this cycle that I wasn't putting them all away this month (I usually tidy them and put them away in a drawer until next month, but i'm trying to change my luck )

Had very itchy boobs and nipples this evening. I am not reading anything into it (oh for f**ks sake, i'm starting already, HELP!). Okay, boobs are actually aching, but it's way too early for signs yet, so it must all be in my head. I am blocking out all niggles and twinges until it's time to test

In all seriousness, I am dreading the thought of getting another bfn. Every month it gets harder and harder to take the news. I will be a nightmare if it happens again, I just don't know how much more I can take. I take my hat off to some of the girls on this forum who are having a really hard time getting pregnant who have been trying a lot longer than me.

This is our 11th cycle, and i'm praying it will be our last.

Well heading to bed now,

Night night

Kate
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