Discovery Home & Health

hi i might be pregnant and me and my df have spoke about it and he told me that he isnt ready to be a dad,but i really want the baby any advice?i love my fiance but dont want to have to choose!

Hi Justme,

I have a four year old little boy, when I found out I was pg with him his dad decided he was not ready for it. i am now married to DH and we are trying for a baby together now. You need to decide what it is that you want and only you at the moment, wait and see if you are before you make any decisions. I was on my own as a single parent for 17months before I met DH. My sons father has not seen him since his first birthday (his choice). Good luck with everything let me know when you have found out either way.

Take care

cx

thanx cat,
yeah i no he wont leave me though(sorry bout ur babys dad)he said he will stick by me but just isnt ready so basically he is making me feel bad hmm i donno what to do

i dont want to have the baby knowing df has never wanted it

hi just me,

i would seriously think about things as it is hard work having a baby and its needs your df support,dont rush into anything i did that with my husband and he wasnt ready and he resented me for quite a while and it was horrid yeah he stayed with me but he didnt want our daughter as quick as we did hell im 7 months pregnat 4 3 years later and he still is a pain. im 23 and i already have one daughter who is 3 1/2 ad as i said am pregnant with my son its tough especially when you know that they didnt realy feel ready its good you have discusssed it because me and dh didnt ntil well after my daughter was born he never said a dicky bird.
having kids is great as longas your both ready for it
leah.x

justme you say you think you are - have you done a test?

you have posted here before and have expressed how you thought you were pg then - I thought you were going back on the pill?

I really hope you think again about this if you are not pregnant and get back on the pill - you cannot force your fiance into having a baby its unfair on him

If you do happen to be pg then it sounds like he will stand by you but you could have some tough times ahead - he is not ready for this - even if you are.

Hi Justme. I have read what's been said i thought you were back on the pill? It isn't fair on your df you and him are young and i think even though he is ready to settle down he isnt ready for a baby he still want night out's and things.
However you should never have to choose between him or a baby at the end of the day that can only be your choice as you are the one that has to go threw it. I hope it all works out for you.


MOLLY[]

thanx molly,
yes i said i was going on the pill but missed some and also when i took them i was feeling really really sick so i didnt take them this time df new about it!

ok why dont you guys get married and enjoy being a married couple together first....and um if you missed some pills , sorry to say sounds like a trap...he will resent you if you do that. Why would you want to bring a baby into the world like that?
try being married for awhile , a baby should be both parties agrements...not one.
and if its just you who wants it , is this your way of "hanging"on to him for good? I dont know something to think about, maybe you should understand your self and why you want one and why he doesn't.

hI Justme. i hope it all works out for the best just remember dont feel pushed into anything you'l regret later he will probably come round to it as soon as you know what's what take care.



MOLLY[]

justme - hi again! have you tested yet? I was thinking about you and just wanted to say that it might be worthwhile taking a little time to think about WHY you want a baby at age 17.

Is it because you want someone to love you unconditionally? Are you unhappy at home and you see this as being a way out? Are you just desperate to hold onto your DF? Have you thought about how you'll support a child? But most importantly - do you want CHILDREN or do you want a baby? You really need to be sure that you want children as I'm afraid I don't agree with Molly - it's not just you that has to go through this - you have a DF AND a baby to think about too. Because I'm afraid it's only a baby for a very short period of time but it's a lifelong commitment.

Let us know how you get on - we'll support you in any way we can

Loocy xx

Justme,

I would have to agree with Loocy on this. I honestly never believe that my sons dad would leave we were both 24 and he decided that he was not ready so left. I went through the hardest 17months of my life after my son was born being a single parent and would not wish to go through that again. My son is now four and is great but it is hard work doing it without support. You have to do what is right for you. Like Loocy said we will support you as much as we can, when I had my son i think part of me felt a sense of belonging again as my dad had died when i was 19 and I had lost my focus in life and didn't know what to do. It was an accident me falling PG but a hard lesson to learn.

Keep intouch and take care

Cx

ohmyg!!!! you are only 17,
why arent you in school thinking about graduation and college?
not a baby, Im 10 yrs older then you
prg with my 3rd and Im still unsure, I cant imagine planning a baby at 17
wow!! if you dont do it for the sake of your futur do it for the sake of your babies futur!!! I hope that you aren't prg
please please take what these ladies have said to heart!!!

Hi Justme. Plz dont take these oppinions to heart i've heard of lot younger girls haveing babys and they coped well.
Yes you should never bring a baby into the world as a fashon item i think this is a fad you are going threw.
You just have to make the choice is this what you want lets face it your df dos'nt come into it on your part if he did you would have still been on the pill and lets face it you did trick him into beleving you are on the pill before comeing clean. Why is haveing a baby so important to you? Why do you want it so bad you cant wait?



MOLLY[]

just for u all to no that i am ready to bring a CHILD into the world!it is the greatest and best thing to do ever and no its not a phase moly i want to do this as me and finally df are ready as u will c on ttc thread i have wrote!lucy,molly and everyone thankyou all for your advece but personnaly i have made the right decicion and df wants this too,so what if i am 17??? i want a baby and a child now!i have my education done i am a hairdresser we have the money/support we need!
xjx