Discovery Home & Health

My wife is 3 months pregnant and due to reading many pregnancy books and websites, is worried about almost everything. She will not go near a microwave or television, will not eat any food that contains any ingredient that she is not familiar with, is terrified if she smells amy smoke or chemical-type odor, etc. She even will not talk to her doctor about things because she believes she is more well-informed that her doctor; if she see a website that sites a medical study that leads to a theory about television possibly causing birth defects, she assumes it to be a fact. If the doctor is not aware of the study, she is uninformed. What really worries me is it is affecting her diet; she will not eat anything that she has the slightest question about, although it means eating very little during the day, even if she is hungry.

I have tried to reson woth her but it does not work. As I mentioned, I suggested she talk to our OB, but she does think the doctor will give her good advice. I know emotional mood swings and depression are associated with preganancy, but I fear her worry and stress about having a healthy baby is going have just the opposite effect. I dont know what to do. Has anyone had any experience with this? Can anyone offer any advice?

Hi there!

First thing she needs to do is relax. She is 3 months pregnant! So that is good news for starters! A lot of the major development has already taken place! Now the baby just needs to grow bigger and fatter!

There are some things you need to be wary of...pate, soft cheeses, undercooked meats, cat litter, saunas etc...but really, she should be enjoying this time!

I have NEVER heard of television causing any problems. (I have had two healthy children and I watched tv heaps with them!) And honestly..unless you sit right on top of the tv almost....I can't see the problem. You can worry too much! Tell her healthy babies are born every day. And our parents and grandparents gave birth easily without all the warning and technology of today (ultrasounds etc).

I hope she can learn to relax!

Cheers
Cathy

Hi there,

I'm 34 weeks pregnant now and I know it's all a bit of a worry at first, but worrying about everything in it's self is probably more harmful to the babies development than relaxing and even eating things you're not supposed to!

Worrying about events that might never happen is a very negative waste of time and vital energy when she could be focusing on the positive. It is pointless to worry; if you can do something about the situation you're worrying about then do it, but if not it is totally pointless and only serves the purpose of causing unnecessary stress which is what you don't want. Millions of women having given birth to perfectly health babies before the times of don't eat this and that and we're all here as proof.

I think it is an important time for her to focus on sorting out her head and letting go of events that she cannot control otherwise once you have a baby it will only make the problem worse worrying about what could go wrong with your child and the dangers it faces.

I would recommend that she goes for counselling or acupuncture can really help to calm the mind and focus it on the positive. She needs to cut out stress as we all know how dangerous high levels of stress are and the nasty diseases it can cause so what harm might this do to her baby?

As Cathy said there are only a few things she needs to avoid but also she needs to remember that her baby is very well protected in the womb form all sorts of nasty things, you need to try not to worry so much either as if she does not eat enough her body will be the one the damage is done to not the babies, a baby will take all that it needs for it's development.

Pregnancy goes so quickly and what will be will be, it would be a shame for her to ruin the experience by worrying, it is a time to relax and enjoy.

I have had a completely uncomplicated healthy first pregnancy and my tops tips for a healthy pregnancy are:

Eat a good wholesome balanced diet with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables.
Avoid processed foods with high fat and sugar.
Avoid alcohol.
Exercise lightly whenever you can e.g. walking, swimming, yoga.
Drink plenty of water.
Relax and sleep as much as you feel you need to.
Avoid stressful situations if possible.
Get help - ask for help if you need it, this may mean going for complementary therapies to help you to relax.

Hope this helps!

I wish you both a happy and healthy pregnancy[]

Bonio

hi, i agree with bonio, but also, advice changes on a yearly basis, my mum was told liver was the thing to eat and have as much of it as possible, where as we are told not to touch the stuff!!!!! you can't possibly follow everything you read, you'd not go out!!!!!! the stress of panicing is gonna be worse for the baby than not doing, maybe ask her to read the posts on the forum..... and join in with one.....may make her feel better.

i am 37 weeks with my first baby and i've followed everything, but i still have had the odd mc flurry when your not supposed to, and have probably had raw eggs in desserts and have had fresh mayonnaise, all of which i 'm not supposed to...but i am fine and baby is thriving.....after all maybe next year eggs that are raw will be the best thing in the world for baby........

Don't get me wrong, i've not eaten those things every day, maybe a couple of times all the way through, but i didn't die!!!!!!!

Hope she's ok

x

you have already received some really good advice here and one thing i will stress is counseling if possible. Your wife sounds pretty obsessive regarding her fears of harming her baby, but she may end up harming the baby if she is not eating. Try to find someone who has experience with issues surrounding depression/pregnancy.
best wishes[]

Bonio,

I could not agree with you more. Everything you said, is balanced, and I am sure your advice has been taken in hand.

The one thing that all expectant mothers should rememebr is that YOU ARE YOUR BABY'S ENVIRONMENT.

What do I mean by that?

Look at your home and where you live. How happy are you in it?

Does your environment create peace and tranquility? Or stress, anxiety, discomfort?
And how would you respond to that environment, and psychologically, how would it be affecting you. Not just at that present moment, but in years to come?

This same principle applies to a baby in the womb. Your baby feeds from you (environment). Regardless to your condition, your baby has no choice but to feed from you. YOU ARE YOUR BABY'S SOURCE!!

So be careful, what steps we take and how we implent them. Sometimes what we may feel is a good step, can be detrimental to our baby.

Stay blessed