Discovery Home & Health

Hello Everyone...

Hope everyone is doing well and keeping healthy and happy...

I was one of the newbies on here a couple of months back - happily pregnant with my first baby.. even had a ticker.. only for my short lived happiness to be ruined by some spotting which eventually ended my pregnancy led to me having a miscarriage.

Its been a few weeks now and i have since had a final scan to check that everything has cleared up - i naturally miscarried (and bled alot..) rather than having a D&C -

I thought i had been relatively strong and coped with it 'ok-ish' - dont get me wrong - i was extremely devastated but i believe - if its not meant to happen it wont..

My sis had a baby over the weekend and i feel like im losing my strength .. i was with her at the birth as i felt it was my duty - she is my younger sister and being elder wanted to be strong for her - I went home later that night and bawled my eyes out - i am finding that i feel desperately like having a baby.. however i have been advised by the midwife at the hospital that i should not try for a baby until at least one cycle has passed.. Other people are saying wait 5-6 months so body gets back to normal..

This cycle doesnt seem to be coming anyway - she said it will be 4-6 weeks till i have my period -

Is it bad to fall pregnant so soon after a miscarriage? Or should i do as people say and wait 5-6 months.. ??

I had a good few weeks off work and had a chance to rest my body - have started back at work as well a couple of weeks ago..

Was just wondering what you think and if there is anyone who wants to share their experiences with me? Id be ever so grateful for your advice.

Shaz xx

hi shaz

firstly i'd just like to say that i'm so sorry for your loss. it must've been extremely hard for you with yr sisters birth at the weekend, you have showed real strength and i hope she appreciates you and realises how lucky she is to have you at her side even though you have recently been through such an ordeal.

i had a miscarriage in november and had erpc on November 15th. I then started spotting on 15th dec with full red flow on the 19th. I felt the same way as you and have been desperate to conceive again. I have researched this quite a lot on the net and it seems to me that most people seem to want to get pg again straight away. i think you should try again when you feel ready, as i did. So far i haven't managed to conceive yet but my thinking is that maybe my body isn't ready and when it is i'll get that longed for bfp.

i really hope you will soon be getting yr bfp.

good luck hun

Lisajane xxx

Thanks alot for your thoughts Lisa Jane - you know how it feels then as you have been through the same.. it is really hard to get on without thinking of gettin pregnant again -

Being with my sis at the birth didnt seem hard at the time - i was happy to be with her and i would never want her to feel that i am not my supportive self with her coz she is having a baby and i lost mine - (i am one of those over protective siblings!) She went through the same thing as me with her first pregnancy too.. so she knew how i felt...

ive been trying to have a look on the net too - most of the sites ive had a look at say the same to wait for one cycle to pass - just for dating purposes - I think my mind is ready - and my body is just waiting for it to happen!!

Isnt it such a strong feeling you get - you just long for a baby - i didnt realise how strongly i felt until i had the miscarriage - then with my best friend being pregnant and sis having her baby .. its gone into overdrive...

good luck to you too - and I really hope you get your BFP too - thanks for sharing your experience with me...

Shaz xx

Hi
Firstly i'm so sad for you, bless you sweetie. Well done for being there for your sister at the weekend, god knows how you managed that one?!

Anyway, with regards of when to try again my GP's advice was to wait atleast one normal cycle and if possible wait for 3 months. However, I think you should do what you need to do,it's a very personal choice.
For me that was to buy ovulation kits right away and start trying as soon as possible after i'd stopped bleeding(which was usually a good 3/4 weeks on and off) My body has gotten pregnant within 3 months of the miscarriages everytime, so I feel that until you are healed you wont concieve anyway. Well, thats the case for me anyway.

These are just my views hopefully they dont offend anyone. Good luck hun. xx

Hey babyno5 -

Again thanks for your thoughts... i appreciate you sharing them with me...

I dont think i will be able to wait 3 months to try -i dont know if i will be waiting 3 months for something to happen ... but lets see what happens anyway..

My cousin had a similar experience to me as well and she said that she took the beginning of her cycle the day she started bleeding - but i was bleeding for about 2-3 weeks - so dont know how that works?? i have completely stopped now and have been clear for a good 2 weeks -

it doesnt help things that im not really up to speed with all this ovulation stuff - and knowing whens the best time etc..

lots of love
Shaz xx

i hope im lucky and manage to conceive like you!

I had a missed miscarriage in march 06, followed by an ERPC. I had a few days light bleeding after, and you are right - the miscarriage made both myself and my fiance realise just how much we wanted a baby!

I planned to wait a few months a lose a little weight before getting pregnant again - but I just couldn't wait... I bought a BBT thermometer to help me get an idea of my cycles. It took 6 weeks for a normal AF to appear (which was pretty light thank god!) and I conceived the next cycle! I now have a gorgeous 13 month old little girl! So I am proof that it can happen quickly and sucessfully after!

Obviously I didn't miscarry naturally, so may have had different emotions going on - I found the operation helped me get over it (was about 4 days after diagnosis)

Good luck in your TTC journey

xxx

Hi SSSB

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, it sounds so familiar and I know exactly what you are going through.

I had a mc in Oct 07. When we started ttc we were really laid back about it 'lets just see what happens' kind of attitude, but after losing it I feel like I have never wanted anything so much in all my life and really obsess over becoming pregnant.

Initially I didn't want to try straight away (maybe for about a week) as I didn't want to go through the same thing again, but when I felt ready to bd again I did even though hadn't had AF. My first AF after the mc was 55 days later and the next was 73 days after that. I'm now on cd33 and still no af, so it can take a while for your cycle to get back to normal (although I think part of my problem is that I was on the pill for around 12 years before ttc and only had af once before getting pg).

You mention that you are not up to speed with knowing the best time etc, if I could give you any advice I would say try not to become obsessed with knowing the right time to conceive and try to just go with the flow and let things happen naturally. I wish I had done that but now Im so obsessed with when I may have ov'd etc and it can put pressure on you and your dh. However if you do want to understand all that kind of stuff, the girls on the TTC thread are really friendly and helpful.

I think the doctors tell you to wait one cycle for dating purposes and not for any medical reason so I would say try when you feel ready.

If you have any more questions please don't hesitate to ask.

I hope we both get our BFP's soon

x

SSSB personal message me your home address and i'll post you the pack of ovulation sticks i have left. The instructions in there will get you started, then if you need more you can get them online from access diagnostics. I'll also send you the link to my fertility friend(cycle charting software) charts so you can see how my miscarriage cycles looked.
Speak soon x

This message has been edited. Last edited by: babyno5,

So sorry to hear about your loss sweetie, I know exactly how you are feeling. We coneived in November 2007 and my baby would have been due on 01 August this year unfortunately I had some bleeding in Decmber and had an early scan on 18 December which showed just an empty sac. I had to have a D&C just five days before xmas. To say we were heartbroken doesn't even come close, I felt so empty and have only recently began to gather myself up again three months later.

Like you, I knew I coudn't wait for a long time before trying again, we only waited one cycle after my D&c and then just left things to fate. I am now on third cycle post D&C and just past ovulation so am keeping fingers crossed but at same time not getting too obsessed.

I beleive that you will only become pregnant when your mind and body are ready and so I don't see the point in waiting a long time after a miscarriage to try again ans I know the only thing that will evetually heal this pain is when I get to hold a little bit of me in my arms.

Good luck hun and will be looking out for you on these boards.

Lisa xoxo

Good Afternoon everyone...i have been at work and sorry i havent been able to respond til now..

Thanks for all your responses - LilySue, Babyno5 MrsB1978 and peanut09..

It is so nice of you all to respond and i am really grateful that you have shared your experiences with me - its so nice to have people who understand what you feel and what you have been going through ...

Well.. AF has just arrived - so at least i can say that im going through my first cycle now - thank god! Its not very heavy - but not too light either... so im hoping this is my countdown to conception...
I had my scan on the 19th Feb and stopped bleeding about the same time - so its been about 3-4 weeks.

Peanut 09 - It is really encouraging to hear that it is possible to get pregnant fairly quickly afterwards, and im really happy that it worked out that way for you --

MrsB - about the ovulating stuff - I am wanting to think about it more than i am letting myself - trying to be as cool calm and collected as is physically possible - so that we dont feel too much pressure - i havent been on the pill at all so im hoping things will be quite normal -

LilySue - I know exactly how you were feeling - its really hard - i went for the early scan - the first time they said that maybe its too early to see anything - then a week later we went and the sac had lowered and the foetus was not visible on the scan either. I would have been due on the 1st Sept - doesnt help that my best friend was due the same day...
But i hope everything works out for you and me both.. we could keep each other updated...

Again thanks alot everyone for your responses.. It helps alot being able to talk about it with people who have experienced the same thing..

lots of love
Shaz xx