Discovery Home & Health

Hi everyone you probably think this is a post about big women who shouldn't be parents well ur right but this ain't my opinion its that of midwifes.i'm currently 28 weeks and went for my anti-d injection/consultant appointment at the hospital yesterday i sat there and waited till i was called then had my blood pressure/urine checks everything was fine till i mentioned i had really bad pain in my pelvis and hips to which i was told was because i was so overweight and then the midwife proceeded to poke me in my stomach and say this doesn't help with labour and she suggested that i don't want to put anymore weight on in the next 12 weeks and she could refer me to the dietician to help me with this.Then she carried on stating i probably sat at home all day and ate sweets biscuits and cakes so it was my own fault i was this way.i've never felt so humiliated in my life i don't think i'm big i was a 16 prior to this pregnancy have a huge bump which is all baby and now wear a size 20 which i'm proud of.i've never had great midwives around me in any of my pregnancys i watch baby programmes and they all seem so lovely so howcome if theres so many evil ones near me who can reduce a mother to tears with their heartless comments and ideas. i am gonna complain and move hospitals before my baby is born.Sorry just needed to vent and i hope no-one else here ever gets treated the way i have

goodluck

lisa + bump 28 weeks

Hi Lisa I just wanted to reply to say I was really sorry you were treated like this.I am not in the health profession but have heard some bad stories (and some good ones).My friend who had Downs in the family wanted to have an early scan when she was pregnant to check if the baby had Downs just to be prepared and the midwife said perhaps they should have thought about that before getting pregnant!I also wanted to say that I had alot of pain in my pelvis on my second pregnancy and ended up wearing a support bandage.I have to say I am quite small so this pain may not be to do with your weight as mine wasn't.Usually an antenatal physiotherapist supplies these supports but you can get them from other shops.If they are holding antenatal physio classes perhaps the physiotherapist running it might be nice and help you out!Good luck with the pregnancy!

HI Lisa I am expecting a baby in oct and im 26 wks with another boy i already have 2 young boys.When i was pregnant with Dylan i went from a tiny 9 stone (im 5ft6)to 14 stone so that was a size 8/10 to a size 16/18 and i looked even bigger,I knew i had gained an awful amount of weight but i didnt care i was so excited about the baby.When i was about 28 wks i developed a really bad tight pain in my back which was so bad i could hardly walk and getting up from bed was unbearable.I arranged for the midwife to visit only to be told sorry shes on holiday,so i had to re book this time with a doctor but was told i had to make my own way there.I had to walk even though it was only 15 mins away it felt like forever the pain in my back was unbearable,when i arrived i had to go up 2 flights of stairs only to be told by the doctor oh you have gained so much weight and are proberly lazy you need to start excersising,she then made me stretch up and bend down and touch my toes,how was i supposed to with a bad back and this enormous bump i couldnt touch my toes if i tried she then said im sorry but theres nothing i can do you'll just have to put up with it till the babys born im afraid and with that i had to walk all the way back home in tears,terrified that i had another 12 weeks of this pain and feeling like an alien for getting big during my pregnancy.4 wks later the babys head dropped into my pelvis and became engaged and the pain just dissapeared i was delighted and changed doctors and was pleased to know that the pain had been the baby lying on a nerve on one side of my back and the weight had nothing to do with it.I have had another boy since than and am pregnant again and im tiny no one even knows im pregnant.Not all midwives and doctors are like that and i think you should find some one else how dare they think they have a right to comment on something as personal as that and how dare they put it in such nasty words.Find someone else and get there advice and enjoy your blooming tummy it wont last forever,Good luck with your pregnancy and the baby take care xx

Thanks bren and jayne i feel better for ur comments i'm really small only 5ft 2 so you can imaginesome 5ft10 midwife saying i'm overweight and prodding me in the stomach doesn't do wonders for your confidence.i'm expecting my 3rd boy i have a daughter also but thought after her no more because i put on alot of weight after having her i never ovulated or had any periods for over 3 years.i started on a diet and had lost 2 and half stone going from a 20 to a 16 then bam one period came and i was pregnant so i see this last pregnancy as a gift he was meant to be here and i'm so excited about his arrival so like you both said i'm gonna change my health care people and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy thanks so much for your kind words and good luck with everything think i will take brens advice and get myself a support belt see if this helps as baby is measuring two weeks bigger so is quite heavy

thanks again

lisa + (brooklyn)28 weeks

hi again lisa oh wow youre having your third boy too.Are yours in a row with an older daughter i really want a girl and i am really worrying how i'll cope with 3 boys i also get alot of comments of people for having 3 boys in a row!!!but like you said theres obviously a reason why and im ment to have 3 boys we will proberly try again later to see if we can have a girl,but ive heard peoples stories of friends they know who have gone on to have 5/6 boys in a row.Is that the name youve chosen for your baby Brooklyn i love that we love unusal names and have chosen Felix for this one my others are Dylan and Tyler.Everybody has made endless comments on it being a cats name but actually we found it in a names book under saints and there was saint Felix and his name means Happy and we thought yes we are happy to be able to get the chance to have another baby no matter what sex so we chose it.My babys due date is 23 oct but both of mine where 1 week late so im expecting this one to be.Ive been feeling really emontional lately everything is getting to me and i really am worried how i'll cope with 3 boys how do you feel about it.

hi jayne

i had my 2 boys then my daughter now another boy i feel really lucky to have a little girl shes 4 my boys are 6 and 5.felix is nice unusual names are the best i have a tyler aswell then kieran and caitlin and finally we will have brooklyn. i'm really looking forward to it being over i'm due 5th oct so basically my 3 go to school then i'm due 4 weeks later,my sister had 4 boys then a little girl as her 5th but you never know you just gotta wait till its the girl boom where i live at the moment everyones having boys so ppl getting pregnant now will probably be the start of the girl boom maybe you need to have ur son then try straight away to get ur girl i didn't try but ended up pregnant when my son kieran was 7 weeks then i had caitlin so who knows but like you said maybe its meant to be that u have all boys at the moment then when u least expect it you might have ur girl.i have the opposite problem with labour i go early i had tyler at 25 weeks and kieran at 29 weeks but caitlin was full term they said they think i can't carry boys properly so gotta take things easy this time and fingers crossed i will get to full term

keep in touch

lisa + (brooklyn) 28 weeks

Hi Lisa just to let you know the support I had was like a stretchy muslim cloth that covered the bump and went down to the tops of my legs so it felt really nice and cosy!I got it through a friend who is an antenatal physiotherapist so if you can go through the physio route they should be able to prescribe one to save you paying for one in a shop.I hope it works!

hi lisa cant believe you have a tyler is he as cheeky as mine?Cant believe he was born so early that must of been a shock for you and your daughter comming later ive heard people say girls are stronger than boys like when people have twins its usally the girl who weighs more.I just feel like ive always been pregnant i bet my fella we got married 4 yrs ago and ive been pregnant ever since i think we dont have any more energy to have another close gap.I think we'll try and wait till this one is 3 or 4 and going off to school so i can enjoy my pregnancy,i am always rushing around after them both and never get chance to sit down Dylan my oldest dosent start school till next year.I really thought id have 2 boys and a girl as thats how it runs in our family but no.My pregnancy is going well apart from the tiredness and feeling a bit down i got really depressed when Dylan was born and im worried that im slowly slipping back to that again.Sometimes i just feel so cut off from the real world im not working so never really get to go out and be me im always mummy perhaps thats a god sign getting down during pregnancy perhaps when hes born i'll be happy whereas when i was expecting Dylan i was so excited and yet when he was born it was nothing that i thought it was going to be being at home with a demanding young baby who cant talk and wants feeding every 2 hours.I guess though that its easier with a third as you know what to expect after doing it already with the other 2.Dylan is really playing me up at the moment i think hes picked up on the fact that im feeling a bit down and he is delebritly going out of his way to be naughty and make me angry.Its so hard being a parent i dont care what any person in a top job says i think its the hardest job there ever is to do.Sorry you proberly think im crazy moaning about it but all my friends are still single and they just dont have a clue what its really like.

hi again jayne

i don't think your crazy at all i have the same problem my kids seem to go out the way to wind me up but my mum says its not them winding me up its me cos i'm more irritable,which i suppose i am when i think about it.my tyler is very quiet and placid don't know i have him some days but kieran and caitlin make up plus extra,how old r ur boys?
i'd say being a mum of 3 is not really that much harder than being mum of 2 just when the 3rd starts walking is when it gets tougher theres a four year gap between caitlin and (brooklyn) so caitlin will be starting school this year which is my longest gap between babies. tyler is from past relationship but my partner i'm with now has been his stepdad since before he was one i've been with him 6 years this year,i know wot u mean about about being pregnant for ages i was only with partner 6 weeks when i fell pregnant with kieran then he was 7 weeks old and i was expecting caitlin so this gap really is huge for us lol.my advice is try to keep ur chin up just think soon you'll have a little baby to hold while ur boys look on wanting to play etc it'll be worth it

speak soon

lisa + (brooklyn) 28 weeks

hi bren

thanks for the advice about bandage i was offered physio help but walked out without booking the appointment as i was so cross at the midwife so maybe i'll see my own midwife see wot she says if not i'll just buy one i hear they ain't that expensive but i could be wrong lol

take care and thanks

lisa + (brooklyn) 28 weeks

hi lisa Dylan is 3 he turned 3 in april and tyler is 16 mths old.I met my hubby in june and we were execting a baby by early august and he was born in april.When Dylan was 14 mths old i fell pregnant with tyler and fell pregnant again this time when tyler was 11 mths.So yeah we have been busy id like a longer gap like youre going to have next time.Have you bought baby items?We need to get virtually everything brand new as my boys just dont look after anything and tyler has broken his cot.Im going to get dylan and tyler bunkbeds.Dylan knows theres a baby in my tummy but i dont think he really understands and tyler just thinks everyones nuts touching and talking to my tummy.Dylan was really jeolous at first when tyler was born i dont know what they'll be like this time.What about your children even though there older do you think they might get jeolous?

hi jayne

i've bought all my baby clothes and a new pram,like you i have to get everything new as i gave all mine away after i had my daughter because we weren't planning on having anymore,i feel like i have so much 2 get in such a small amount of time.its nice when they are all close but it does get on ur nerves when ppl say stuff like have you got no tv in ur house i mean it only takes one time and everybody knows this so why make out we r rabbits grrrr lol

i'm dreading the next 6 weeks but i know when they are over i'll not have long to go so that kinda helps its just so hard when u get them off to school u get a routine and bam they have 6 weeks off.I think caitlin might get jealous i'm more worried about them trying to pick him up or being all over him in his face kinda thing as they r like that with my relatives babies and it does worry me but hopefully caitlin will be helpful i've been getting her excited about helping me change nappies and bathing him which seems to work so u never know.

HI yeah your little girl should love helping you out she'll have a real life doll to look after.Girls love babies its the boys who arent usally.Im worried about them being a bit rough aswell not they will intend to but boys being boys just are Dylans always throwing cushions around and shooting everything with his toy gun he's even shot me and his dad a few times!!!!!Your children will be interested and will proberly want to have cuddles on the sofa you will just have to tell them to not pick him up and be gentle.I had all those comments about us not having a tv from a dad of 5 like he could talk it really annoys me aswell and its up to us how many children we have will you have anything done to make this one definately your last one? Ive never been on any pills or anything my friend has a coil in her arm but even then theres still a slight chance of becoming pregnant.

i know wot u mean about boys being boys i'm bit worried they'll be too rough but i guess all we can do is wait and see,i'm gonna have one of those things put in my arm the 3 yr ones cos my partner is not wanting the snip and i can say honestly i wouldn't want him to have it done not because i want anymore just because i wouldn't wanna split with him then him be in a relationship maybe where his new partner had no kids and they couldn't have any cos he had the snip. sounds weird i know cos i wanna be with him forever but things happen and theres always a chance

HI yeah lisa no i think exactly the same thing as you.My hubby would never have anything done anyway hes already made that clear and i dont want any permanent opperations either.Even though we are together and happy and love each other i always think what would happen if things didnt work out and we met other people and i met someone and desperatly wanted a child of our own we wouldnt be able to.I think exactly the same.You never know you might deceide to later have another baby (even though while youre pregnant thats the last thing your thinking about)I always hate it when the babys born and straight away people say so you gonna have any more than?and i just think oh shut up you *"!% and but out!!!How are you feeling with your pelvic trouble?Have you tryed to find a new midwife yet?