hi i am a mum and my 15 year old daughter is pregnant with her first baby (i am on her account) i just wwondered what people think of letting a 15 year old girl get pregnant and keep the baby or even letting a 15 year old boy get a girl pregnant please help me i dont know what is best for my daughter
Posts: 16 | Location: United Kingdom | Registered: 04 August 2003
I'm assuming your daughter got pregnant without your approval so it's not as if you let her get pregnant. I don't know your daughter but I think you really need to talk to her and discuss all her options. Does she want to keep the baby and will you support her if she does? There are lots of organisations that you could contact who will counsel you both. This is also not just your problem, where are the father's parents, they and their son need to take some responsibility too.
I agree with Anna, it's not like you gave her permission to get pregnant. I can see it from both sides, I myself was pregnant at 15yrs and gave birth 10 days after my 16th birthday, and my daughter is herself now coming up for 15yrs and I would be absolutely mortified if she got pregnant. Yes it was a struggle when all my friends were going out, buying nice clothes when all my money went on nappies and stuff for Lou, but you just get on with it. I will say however that I couldn't have done it without the support of both my parents and her dad's parents. Now 15 years on, I wouldn't have changed a thing, my daughter is a level headed girl with strong ambitions and a desire to do well for herself, I have pursued the career I originally wanted, have remarried and have two other children of 6yrs and 2 months - big age gaps!!
Just support her as much as you can, discuss the options with her, don't just assume that what you'd like her to do is what she herself would like to do.
Good luck, I hope all works out well in the end for all of you.
quote:Originally posted by mum_2_b [br]hi i am a mum and my 15 year old daughter is pregnant with her first baby (i am on her account) i just wwondered what people think of letting a 15 year old girl get pregnant and keep the baby or even letting a 15 year old boy get a girl pregnant please help me i dont know what is best for my daughter
Posts: 8 | Location: United Kingdom | Registered: 02 August 2003
Sorry to read that your daughter is pregnant. I got pregnant at 16 and my daughter was born just after my 17th. I got my own flat and got more qualifications and i now have a good job and am a really happy and fulfilled single mother. If your daughter wants to continue with this pregnancy then, from my point of view, the best thing that you can do is to support her in the desison. it may not be what you want for her but never let her think you are disapointed IN her, only dissapointed FOR her. Chances are that if she is a ambitious, determined person, this will not stop her achieving her goals, just make her strive for them more. I wouldn't be where i am today without my mum, who thought i was making the biggest mistake of my life, but is now extremely proud me and her grandaughter.
Good luck, I hope it works out well for her!
Posts: 1 | Location: United Kingdom | Registered: 30 August 2003
Thanks for the info, i let my daughter keeps her baby and i now how the most beautiful granddaughter in the world the labour was quite hard work but it was worth it to see the baby the babys dad has been really supportive which is one thing i was worried about thank you for the support
Suzanne
Posts: 16 | Location: United Kingdom | Registered: 04 August 2003
quote:Originally posted by KC [br]Sorry to read that your daughter is pregnant. I got pregnant at 16 and my daughter was born just after my 17th. I got my own flat and got more qualifications and i now have a good job and am a really happy and fulfilled single mother. If your daughter wants to continue with this pregnancy then, from my point of view, the best thing that you can do is to support her in the desison. it may not be what you want for her but never let her think you are disapointed IN her, only dissapointed FOR her. Chances are that if she is a ambitious, determined person, this will not stop her achieving her goals, just make her strive for them more. I wouldn't be where i am today without my mum, who thought i was making the biggest mistake of my life, but is now extremely proud me and her grandaughter.
Good luck, I hope it works out well for her!
I agree with you kc, and congratulations in your good fortune to have your life go forward and meeting your goals in life...and good luck mum: I have a daughter whom just made 17 in October and would be mortified if she came home and told me she was pregnant. But, I would go over all the options with her and the father, and support her in every way that I possibly could. I believe that birth control should be used if they are going to have relations and be prepared ahead with protection from infections by using condoms...I am a registered nurse, so I have drilled these beliefs into my daughter, and continue to do so. But, if she were to become pregnant I would support her and definitely want her to continue to pursue her career goals after the birth of the child. I would offer my aide in caring for the child as much as possible without getting in her way, so to speak, but would definitely make it to where she were able to complete her career goals. Careers for single mothers as well as all girls are a must I believe. I was widowed with two children, a two girl and aneight year old son, whom I raised as a single mom/mum--thank heavens for my career goals completion. My nursing liscense was a God send to the nurturing and rearing of my children. So, I hope you the very best all of you who face this delima. We never know when we ourselves might have one of our children facing the same issues as you are "mum" and "kc". So good luck to all, and please don't give up on your future ...your career...so you can support yourself and your child/children and live a happy life.Good Luck, New Orleans Lady.
Posts: 25 | Location: USA | Registered: 13 November 2003
quote:Originally posted by mum_2_b [br]hi i am a mum and my 15 year old daughter is pregnant with her first baby (i am on her account) i just wwondered what people think of letting a 15 year old girl get pregnant and keep the baby or even letting a 15 year old boy get a girl pregnant please help me i dont know what is best for my daughter
Hi "mum": Hun, you did not let or allow your daughter or anyone allow their son to get your daughter or someone else pregnant. Please do not look upon this as your fault. All we can do as parents, is to teach our children our beliefs of what we think is best for them in their lives. Then, if they make a choice that we did not necessarily think was correct, all we can do is support them the best we can. Please support your daughter the best way you possibly can, and do not make her think that it is "her" fault or "his" fault. In life things do not always happen as we would wish them to. But, look upon this in a positive way--no matter what decision she makes in this situation about her future and the future of the child, support her and make her feel positive about herself and her decision. Hopefully the boy and his parents will also support her and aide in caring for the infant. As the parent of a boy and a girl, I personally feel that I would support the child of my son were he to have one out of wedlock as much as I possibly could. Please help her to see that she still has a bright future ahead of her, this is just a small set-back to reaching her potential in life for her career goals. Most of all, make her see that whether the boy aides her, marrys her, or whatever, that it is in her best interest to pursue a career to be able to support herself and her child in the future if it should come to that of a single parent...we are looking at it now, but remember that she can become a single parent at anytime in the future with or without a marriage. Things happen in life that are not forseen, and a career would benefit all of our children in their future lives. Let me quit my lecture, forgive my length of comments, as I am a nurse and have taught nursing. I have taught teenagers pursuing a nursing career, and have counseled teenagers in the same situation as you see yourself in. So, good Luck to you, mum, and your daughter; and all who find themselves in like circumstances. Good luck, New Orleans Lady... [new_0rleans_lacly@yahoo.com----if anyone wishes to ask me about nursing careers, feel free to write /email me---the 'o' in orleans is a zero and in 'lady' the 'd' is a 'c l']
Posts: 25 | Location: USA | Registered: 13 November 2003
hi my daughter was pregnant at 15 ... though shocked and distressed at first she had the baby with all our familys support.. after the baby was born she returned to school and took her gcse's which she passed she then stayed on in the 6th form and passed all her a levels .. after this she went to uni luckily she found a course local to home so that she could still live at home, she got a 2.1 in her degree and we were all very proud of her.. she has been a primary school teacher for the past 2 years.. and in may next year she is having her second baby.. teenage pregnancies do not have to be a disarter..i have a great 8 year old grandson who is the apple of my eye my daughter is still with his dad and they have there own house, if they have the love and support of family and friends things can work out fine.. she is a fantastic mum and a fantastic daughter i wish you and your daughter the best of luck carol
Posts: 13 | Location: United Kingdom | Registered: 01 November 2005
How much support are you getting from the midwifery section? They would categorise your daughter as a teenage pregnant mother and view her differently to older females.
I am a qualified midwife and birth educator.
I am here to help any mother with preparing for labour (which I am sure you will need), how to cope etc.
Please view my website any questions feel free to ask ok?
Hi, I know this is an old topic now but iv been reading a lot of stuff online over the last few days and i know how it feels to blame yourself, My 15 year old daughter has just found out she is pregnant,I for one am very shocked and overwhelmed as we've always talked openly about sex, she is intelligent and well educated and we have a good close relationship, I am blaming myself but the bottom line is you can only watch over and protect them to a certain extent, they also make their own choices. however, mistakes were obviously made and now we just have to deal with the consequences. I will support her in whatever she chooses to do (abortion is out of the question for her)and i hope things work out as well for my daughter as they seem to have done for yours. any news or advice very welcome.
Posts: 1 | Location: United Kingdom | Registered: 19 July 2006
hi to everyone,just like most of the blogs on here,i have just found out that my 15 yr old daughter is pregnant.im very up set that this is happened!i thought i had told her plenty of times that if she was even thinking of have sex with her partner then to be double careful. she was on the pill but kept missing her partner new this as he had a word with me about it, but still went on having unpretected sex, i not happy with his family as they have been letting her stay at theres with out me knowing and they also new i didnt agree with sleep overs at theres. i wont to no how does a child look after a child.i said my peace and said i will stick by her 100% cos i love her to bit just didnt want this for herat such a young age. i no i had my eldest at 20 an i blarely coped, do u think she can do it at her age ?
Originally posted by sammy37: hi to everyone,just like most of the blogs on here,i have just found out that my 15 yr old daughter is pregnant.im very up set that this is happened!i thought i had told her plenty of times that if she was even thinking of have sex with her partner then to be double careful. she was on the pill but kept missing her partner new this as he had a word with me about it, but still went on having unpretected sex, i not happy with his family as they have been letting her stay at theres with out me knowing and they also new i didnt agree with sleep overs at theres. i wont to no how does a child look after a child.i said my peace and said i will stick by her 100% cos i love her to bit just didnt want this for herat such a young age. i no i had my eldest at 20 an i blarely coped, do u think she can do it at her age ?
erm can i just say i was 16 when i had my eldest it was really hard but you manage actually you`ll probably see her grow up quite a lot now as i did i am now 25 with 4 children with a very very supportive mother who probably felt the same as you did when you found out you`ll get there in the end at the end of the day god had decided she can have this baby you sghould feel like you have been blessed
Posts: 505 | Location: UNITED KINGDOM | Registered: 22 May 2006
mum I am with you I also have a 15 year old pregnant she will have the baby 3 months before she turns 16. but there is more now that i worry about my daughter smokes marajuana every chance she gets and drinks alcohol I have gotten her every kind of help i can now im turning her over to her probation officer with the fear of losing my first grandchild because she will be locked up and the state might take the baby but i have to save the baby and just pray they let me have it when its born.
